


Future's Past

by MikusProud



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2019-12-30 11:44:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 23
Words: 38,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18314651
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MikusProud/pseuds/MikusProud
Summary: Hermione has left her past behind her. Sirius feels he has no future. But an accidental meeting has them both questioning their outlook.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Here is the first chapter of my second fanfic story published over on ff.net. It is complete, and I will be reposting the chapters here, hopefully at least 2-3 chapters a week, though not on any specific schedule.
> 
> Thank you to my friend and Beta, Ms.K.Everdeen! I couldn’t do it without you!
> 
> Disclaimer: I wish I could live in this world, but I unfortunately don’t own any of it.

Hermione Granger sighed, throwing her pen down in frustration. Her eyes were burning from working so late into the night using only the small, dim desk lamp for light. She used her thumb and forefinger to try and rub the ache away.  
  
Leaning back, she rested her head on the back of the desk chair and closed her eyes. She should have been in bed hours ago, but she had a deadline, and her boss was not the lenient type.  
  
For the most part, she enjoyed her job, but on nights like this, which happened far more often than she cared to admit, she hated it.   
  
Maybe enjoyed was too strong a word. Her job could be satisfying. As junior editor at a large publishing firm in London, she had the privilege of reading bestsellers before they went to press. She had loved the idea of it when she had started, but while she had in fact read a few manuscripts that had turned into bestsellers, more often Hermione was working on what she thought was total trash. It had her wondering how the publishing company ever made a profit.  
  
Truth was, while her pay seemed decent, if you considered how many hours she worked, it was actually pretty meager. But the income was steady and her job as secure as it could be, which she hadn't always had in the past.  
  
Though she had at least an hour or two more work before she finished editing the manuscript, she decided to get some sleep. She would set her alarm early and finish before getting ready for the day. She was hoping she would have more of a fresh mind after a few hours of sleep, which was all she could afford right now.

* * *

Hermione struggled to open her eyes, brain foggy. When she finally managed to crack one open, a fuzzy face appeared, seemingly floating in mid-air in front of her.  
  
"Mummy, you have to get up. It's almost time to go to school."  
  
Hermione sat up, suddenly wide awake. She grabbed the alarm clock next to the bed, which read 8:06. She cursed quietly; she had either forgotten to set the clock or had turned it off when it rang. Either way, she had less than an hour to accomplish all her morning tasks, including dropping her daughter off at school and getting to the office, something she allotted no less than two hours to on a daily basis.  
  
She swung up into a sitting position and put her hands on her daughter's shoulders. At six years old, Elaine had the maturity level of someone much older in most things, and Hermione was grateful to see her fully dressed for the day, even if her outfit was slightly more eccentric than Hermione would have chosen.   
  
She smiled, "Did you have breakfast yet?" Elaine nodded, "Good girl. Brush your teeth and hair?" The girl shook her head.  
  
"Ok, run and take care of that and get your backpack and lunch together. It's in the fridge," Hermione kissed her daughter on the forehead, "Thank you for waking me up, hon."  
  
Elaine nodded and scurried out of the room. Hermione rushed to get into the bathroom and get ready for the day. She was already dreading her boss' reaction to her news that she hadn't finished the manuscript, but there was nothing to be done now.

* * *

After rushing Elaine to school and breaking several speeding laws to get to her office, Hermione sat down at her cubicle at 9:08. Which was pretty good considering.  
  
She ducked low in her chair and pulled the manuscript and pen from her bag hoping that if she was quick, she may be able to finish the editing before her boss even noticed her.   
  
Her luck held for fifteen minutes before she heard a stern, "Ms. Michaels," from above her head.   
  
She glanced up to see the surly face of her boss. Mr. Andrews was a fifty-something, heavyset man with a balding head and ruddy cheeks. In the two years she had worked for him, Hermione didn't think she had ever seen him crack a smile.  
  
"I certainly hope that isn't the Hester manuscript. That should have already been turned over for final editing," he demanded imperiously.  
  
Hermione made a valiant attempt to hide her cringe, "Sir, I'm just putting the final touches on it. I'll have it turned over within the hour."  
  
"You have been warned about this tardiness before. If you are late turning the manuscripts over, there runs a very real risk that it will not make its release date! That is unacceptable!"  
  
She very much doubted that her turning over the manuscript an hour late this morning would delay a release date months from now. But that was not something she could ever say out loud. "Yes sir, I apologize. I'll finish this as quickly as possible and make sure it never happens again."  
  
"I wish I could believe you Ms. Michaels, but I've heard it all before. If I didn't hear tell of your skill with the red pen, I wouldn't be so lenient with your habitual lateness. But someday even your skill may not save you. Please keep that in mind." With that he spun on his heel and walked away.  
  
Hermione let out a sigh of relief. All told, she had gotten off easy. She'd had the same lecture several times, and it usually lasted much longer and got much louder.   
  
She glanced at her watch, picked up her pen again and got back to work.

* * *

The day went by slowly. Once she had finished the Hester manuscript, she had a large stack of smaller works to sort and edit. The good thing was the deadlines for those works were much more reasonable, so she would at least be able to get some good nights' sleep for the rest of the week. Maybe. Hopefully.  
  
At 5:10, she saw Mr. Andrews leave the office through the main doors and enter the elevator. Hermione waited five minutes to make sure he wasn't coming back, then decided to skive off early. It was only fifteen minutes, but she knew that she'd be in trouble if he found out.  
  
She made her way to her car quickly and without incident. She decided that she would drive a bit out of her way to her and Elaine's favorite bakery and coffee shop to pick up some of the chocolate Danish Elaine loves so much. She had the time since she had left early, and Hermione wanted to surprise her daughter with a treat after her own lapse in responsibility that morning.  
  
It took her some time to find a parking space, and by the time she made it through the line, she was running late to get Elaine. She grabbed her bag of Danish after making her payment, and spun around, intent on making her way quickly to her car. In her haste, she wasn't paying attention, and ran headlong into someone, quite literally bouncing off of them.  
  
She was stopped from falling by strong hands wrapped around her upper arms, and she instinctively reached her free hand out to his chest to steady herself.   
  
The chest was covered by a dark gray button up shirt. In her utter embarrassment, she kept her eyes glued to the buttons, not wanting to see the look on the man's face. "I'm so sorry! I wasn't paying attention!"  
  
"That's fairly obvious." Though the words were annoyed, the deep voice sounded playful, like the man was smiling at her discomfort. Her eyes flew up to his face to confirm her suspicions.  
  
The first thing she noticed was his gray eyes, which were indeed dancing with mirth. Then her eyes took in his smile, his dark, wavy, shoulder length hair, threaded through at the temples with gray, which he had swept back from his face. Said face had a few days’ worth of growth, giving his look a slight edge that seemed to be at odds with his otherwise rather clean-cut appearance.  
  
It only took a moment for Hermione's eyes to take it all in. It took another moment more for her brain to catch up, and suddenly her heart was in her throat, as she realized with sudden clarity that she knew this man.  
  
"Sirius?!" 

* * *

Sirius Black was practically growling. It was a trait left over from all the time he had spent as a dog that he often found difficult to curb, even as a human.

  
He was sitting across the desk from the head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement at the Ministry of Magic. He had just explained his side of the story of the incident that had happened over the weekend for what felt like the hundredth time to his boss. All he wanted to do was get out of there and get to St. Mungo's, but his boss, Mr. Lyons, wasn't in the mood to let him off lightly.  
  
"I don't appreciate your cavalier attitude, Black! You don't appear to understand the gravity of your situation! Your partner has been injured! You have a man accusing you of undue force and harassment!"  
  
"You think I don't know that? I don't understand why we have to keep hashing this out! I already told you what happened. You obviously don't believe me, so why don't we just get to the part where you give me my official reprimand and I can get going to visit Harry at the hospital?" Sirius ground out, gritting his teeth.  
  
Lyons shook his head, exasperated, "You're a real pain in my arse, Black. Fine! You are here by officially suspended for two weeks, during which you will be compelled to attend anger management classes at St. Mungo's. Your reinstatement will be dependent on the evaluation and recommendation of the counselor running the class. Do you understand?"  
  
"Perfectly. Can I leave now?" Sirius practically spat.  
  
His boss rolled his eyes and gestured to the door.  
  
Sirius stalked back to his cubicle and threw himself into his chair with a huff. He rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger, hoping to maybe rub away the headache that was quickly forming.  
  
In truth, Sirius wasn't surprised or even angry about the reprimand. It wasn't the first time he had been in trouble with the Department, and he was sure it wouldn't be the last.  
  
What he was angry about was that Harry was being drug through the mud with him. Sirius didn't think he would get an official reprimand as well, but people had been whispering in the office, and he knew no one believed his story.  
  
Sirius shook his head, suddenly regretting, and not for the first time, picking up his old job as an Auror when he had been brought back from the Veil almost five years ago.  
  
At the time, the decision had been an easy one. He had come back to a world that had moved on without him to find Harry,  _his_  Harry, a twenty-five year old married father of one, and a fully trained Auror to boot. Sirius was desperate to make up for lost time and try to make amends for his job as godfather that he had failed so spectacularly at.  
  
He had promised James and Lily he would protect Harry. He had missed his chance while Harry was growing up, and then when he finally had gotten a second chance, he had gone and blown that opportunity too. He had taken some comfort in the news that he had apparently died protecting Harry, though he didn't really remember it.   
  
But when he came back, he was determined to correct his past mistakes and put Harry first, even if he was a grown man who didn't need his godfather to babysit him.  
  
But what Sirius could do was become an Auror again, partner with Harry, and always be there to protect him on the job. And he had been successful. That is, until now.  
  
On Sunday, after a few days of surveillance, they had moved in against a suspect in several home invasions. He and Harry had separated to corner the suspect, but Harry had reached him first, and the creep had gotten the better of him. When Sirius had arrived on the scene, he entered the room to find Harry on the floor and the suspect had turned his wand on him.  
  
Sirius' official story was that the suspect had threatened him with his wand, and he had no choice but to use force to subdue him. While technically true, Sirius had left out the part that when he had seen Harry lying there unconscious and maybe even dead, he had seen red, and it wouldn't have really mattered if they guy was threatening him. He would have fired off the same set of spells, even if the guy had surrendered.  
  
The problem was that the suspect had been injured enough to require a stay in the secure ward of St. Mungo's. Now he was singing a tune of Auror brutality, saying Harry had tried to use force on him when he posed no threat, so he had just been defending himself, and when Sirius had come in, he had already dropped his wand and was no longer armed when Sirius had cursed him.  
  
All crap of course, but whatever spell Harry had been hit with made it so he couldn't remember anything after entering the building, and Sirius' word on the incident wasn't good enough, not when the Department was under scrutiny. Plus he already had a history of being a loose cannon on the job.  
  
No matter now, he would do his time and move on. Thankfully, Harry's injuries were minor, though his recovery would take some time. Sirius was hoping he would be released from the hospital within a day or two.  
  
Sirius started packing up his things and made to leave to visit Harry. Suddenly, he remembered Ginny had asked him to stop by a muggle bakery she had found last month that supposedly had the best chocolate Danish, which Harry had loved. And she thought he needed a pick me up.  
  
Since Sirius was not Ginny's favorite person on a good day, and she was particularly miffed with him at the moment, Sirius wasn't very keen on angering the witch further by showing up without the requested treat. She hadn't said it out loud because it would have upset Harry, but he knew she blamed him for Harry's injury.  
  
Quickly transfiguring his robes to muggle attire, he headed out of the Ministry to Apparate.

* * *

The shop was actually quite busy when he arrived, so he thought Ginny's assessment of the Danish was probably accurate. He got into the queue to wait.  
  
He was still a few people back in line and he was looking up at the handwritten menu above the counter when a woman slammed into him. She had practically landed in a heap on the floor, but he had instinctively grabbed her arms to steady her. She threw her hand against his chest, and he could tell she was embarrassed by her clumsiness by the way she stared as his chest instead of looking at his face.  
  
"I'm so sorry! I wasn't paying attention!" She exclaimed, embarrassment heavy in her tone.  
  
"That's fairly obvious." He said, amused. After the horrible few days he had gone through, being practically run over by an obviously rushed woman was no big deal, even if he would normally be annoyed with her inattention.  
  
She suddenly looked up at him, and he saw that she was actually quite attractive, in a severe business woman sort of way.   
  
Her embarrassed face suddenly shifted to something akin to shock; jaw going slack and eyes widening. When she all but shouted his name it was his turn to be shocked.  
  
How did this random, muggle business woman know him? It didn't make any sense.  
  
Then he looked at her. Really looked at her. She had honey brown curls, and though they were pulled back into a bun, enough had escaped to show that they were rather wild. Her eyes were chocolate brown and right now, they were staring at him intently. She wasn't wearing much make-up, and he could see a light smattering of freckles across her nose.  
  
Unconsciously, his brain began to search for her in his memory. Within moments, it had removed fifteen years off her face and put her in a jumper and jeans, wild curls freely flowing down her back.  
  
His head jerked back as if she'd hit him, his surprise was so great. He didn't even seem to notice when the customer waiting behind him pushed past when he made no move to order on his turn.  
  
"Hermione?"


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione suddenly realized she was goggling at him in the middle of the busy queue. He seemed to realize the same, and maintaining his grip on one of her arms, dragged her over to the corner of the shop, to give some semblance of privacy in the completely open room.  
  
"What the hell are you doing here?" He suddenly demanded, pulling her around to face him.  
  
Hermione bristled at his unexpectedly angry tone. His sudden shift in temperament threw her, and she was suddenly flustered, "Ah, excuse me, I think I should be the one asking you that! The last I knew, you were dead! So, how the hell are you here?!"  
  
He looked surprised at that, and just stared at her for a moment before answering in a strained tone, "I've been back for five years. It was all over the papers. I would have thought you'd have read about it."  
  
Hermione bit back an angry retort. It was none of his business that she didn't keep up with the wizarding world anymore, and she'd be damned if she told him anything about herself. "I hadn't heard," she said airily.  
  
Sirius scoffed. "Not the know-it-all I remember, I see."   
  
"How dare you," Hermione hissed. "You don't know me at all! You haven't even seen me in fifteen years!"  
  
Suddenly his face was very close to hers and she had to resist the urge to step back. "And whose fault is that Hermione? Where the bloody hell have you been for the last eight years?!"  
  
"Why do you care?!" Hermione practically shouted. She continued more softly when everyone in the shop looked their way. "It's none of your damn business anyway, Sirius Black!"  
  
"Why do I care? I care because my godson has spent the last eight years mourning the loss of your friendship! How could you disappear like that, without telling anyone where you were going? Harry's been worried that you were dead!"  
  
"Well, feel free to tell him I'm alive and well, and I have zero interest in reconnecting with anyone from my old life!" Hermione's head was spinning, she needed to get out of there. "I really must be going. I'm running late. Goodbye Sirius."  
  
She pushed past him and stalked toward the door, ignoring him when he called her name.

* * *

Sirius watched, fuming, as she disappeared out the door. The nerve of that woman! Acting as if her betrayal of Harry's friendship was completely acceptable!   
  
Shaking himself from his fury, he quickly left the shop and found a secluded alley to Apparate to St. Mungo's. He was almost to Harry's room before he realized he had been so thoroughly distracted by Hermione's sudden appearance, he had forgotten the Danish. So much for avoiding Ginny's ire.  
  
He knocked and was immediately bade to enter. As soon as he opened the door, Ginny was in front of him, eyes searching his hands for the bakery bag.  
  
"Did you forget?" She asked, annoyance evident in her tone.  
  
"No," Sirius fibbed. "Lyons kept me late. By the time I got there, they were sold out.  
  
Ginny pursed her lips, but didn't pursue the topic further. He guessed it was to not upset Harry with their bickering.   
  
Sirius moved around Ginny and walked over to the bed where Harry lay, propped up on a multitude of pillows. "How are you feeling today?"  
  
"Better," Harry replied, sounding tired. "I'm still having trouble keeping my eyes open, but I'm not so completely out of it as yesterday."  
  
Sirius nodded and took a seat in the chair by the bed. Ginny bustled over, fussing over Harry's blanket. "I'm fine, love." Harry told her. "Why don't you take an hour or two and go home, get some rest? Maybe go check on the kids? I'm sure Sirius wouldn't mind staying if you're worried about me being alone."  
  
The look on her face told Sirius that she thought being alone would be preferable. "If you're sure you'll be alright?"  
  
"Of course I'll be."  
  
She nodded, kissing Harry quickly before leaving the room. Harry laid his head back with a sigh. "She's driving me crazy."  
  
Sirius chuckled at the exasperation in his tone. "You're lucky to have someone who cares so much."  
  
"Oh I know. But it's like she thinks if she fluffs my pillows enough or fixes my blanket perfectly, it'll make it so this never happened."  
  
Sirius didn't respond. He agreed with Ginny on this one, since he also would do anything to make this go away.  
  
Harry turned his head to look at him, "So, how did it go with Lyons?"  
  
Sirius shrugged, "Oh, you know, the usual. Suspension and anger management classes. I think you'll get away with nothing more than a strong talking to when you're back on your feet."  
  
Harry huffed weakly, "Why can't they just take your word for it? It's not like the guy was permanently damaged."  
  
Sirius agreed with Harry's assessment, but stayed silent. Harry continued, "I was the one who was careless and let some petty criminal take me down. Why should you be punished?"  
  
"I'm your partner. I should have been there." Sirius retorted hotly.  
  
"Sirius, this isn't your fault. You know that, right?"  
  
Sirius looked away, suddenly very interested in the curtains by the window. "Sirius?"  
  
"What I know is that I should have been there. That had I been there, this wouldn't have happened." Sirius was breathing heavily, practically panting as his dog counterpart would be doing when stressed.  
  
Harry wisely stayed silent, knowing that arguing with his agitated godfather would do no good. After several minutes, when Sirius' breathing evened out, Harry ventured with a small smile, "You did forget the Danish, didn't you?"  
  
Sirius opened his mouth to tell Harry what had happened, but he hesitated. Finally, he said, "Yeah, I forgot them."  
  
Harry laughed, settling back into the pillows, "Thought so. Good call, lying to Ginny. She's already in a pretty pissy mood..." Harry trailed off sleepily, and it was clear to Sirius he was close to falling asleep.  
  
"My thoughts exactly. Rest your eyes Harry. I'll stay here until Ginny gets back." Harry obeyed, falling asleep almost instantly, and Sirius sat back in his chair.  
  
Was it the right thing, not telling Harry that he had seen Hermione? Sirius wasn't sure. He probably wouldn't have hesitated if Harry hadn't been lying in a hospital bed, half asleep. He had been through so much in the last few days, Sirius didn't feel right adding to his stress, especially since Hermione had made it clear she wasn't interested in seeing him again.  
  
That started Sirius' blood boiling again. Who was she to decide that, after making Harry suffer all those years? He knew Harry had looked for her, worried for her, and still thought of her often.   
  
Sirius didn't know the details of what had happened, only that she and Ron had been engaged and there had been some sort of blow up that had lead to Hermione disappearing without a word to anyone. By the time Sirius had come back, she had already been gone for three years, yet Harry still missed her.   
  
He now knew that Harry's unsuccessful attempts to find her was likely because she had been living as a muggle, and if he had to guess, not under her real name. That was the only explanation for her having no idea of his return. If she had any contact with the wizarding world at all, she would have known.  
  
After much consideration, he decided he would spend his two-week suspension trying to find her again and convince her to see Harry. If he failed, he would tell Harry he saw her, to at least ease his mind that she was alive. Sirius had faith in himself that he would find her. He was an excellent Auror after all.


	3. Chapter 3

Hermione finally sat down on her bed, emotionally exhausted after the evening's events.   
  
She felt like she had been in a daze as she drove home and walked up the four flights to pick-up Elaine. She went home after school with a friend from her class, Jenny, who happened to live on the top floor of their building. Hermione was so lucky that the girl's mother, Anna, worked from home and was willing to keep Elaine until 6 pm every day. Though Hermione paid her for her trouble, it still saved her hundreds of pounds a month that she would otherwise have to pay for an after-school daycare program.  
  
Elaine was thrilled over the Danish, as Hermione knew she would be. She had put together a quick dinner for them, then they had sat on the couch to eat the treat while watching a TV show.  
  
After homework, bath, brushing teeth, and story time, Elaine was finally in bed. Hermione forced herself to go through her usual nighttime routine, even though it was the last thing she felt like doing. She prepared both her and Elaine's lunches for the next day and organized her notes and calendar for work.  
  
She usually turned on the small TV she had on the dresser when she was able to get to bed at a decent time, just to zone out. Reading for enjoyment held no interest for her after the job she did all day, but watching some mind-numbing show felt good when her brain had been turned on for so many hours.  
  
But she didn't reach for the remote tonight, her mind still racing from her run-in with Sirius. She had tried to hide her emotions from her daughter, but as perceptive as Elaine was, she probably had picked up on her mother's turmoil, though she hadn't asked about it.   
  
The fact was, though she had tried to put it from her mind, running into Sirius today had brought up things from her past, things she didn't want to think about, and didn't want to relive.  
  
Worst of all, it had brought up her roiling guilt that her daughter knew nothing of the wizarding world, the world she truly belonged to. Hermione had become quite good at explaining away Elaine's accidental magic, which had started when she was barely two years old, and she knew would continue until she was trained on how to control her power.  
  
It was easy for Hermione to forget on a daily basis that she was a witch. Her life was hectic, and her job and home so far removed from magic, she didn't even think about it. She had been living in the muggle world without magic for nearly seven years.   
  
But then suddenly there was this huge reminder of her past, and she couldn't just ignore it, ignore  _him_ , however much she wanted to.  
  
She had never gotten along well with Sirius when she had known him. He was crass, irrational, and immature, and Hermione had hated how he had treated Harry as some sort of stand in for James instead of his own person. But in some detached part of her brain, she could be happy he had come back, because no matter how she had felt about him personally, he hadn't deserved to die.  
  
But she couldn't rationalize his anger when he'd realized who she was. He had mentioned Harry and his worry, which told her that he must not know the whole story of what had happened. It didn't surprise her Harry hadn't explained his role in her leaving. He was probably ashamed, as well he should be.  
  
Hermione hoped that if Sirius did tell Harry he saw her that they would respect her wishes and leave her alone. She hated the idea of her old life creeping into this life she had created for herself and her daughter. But she dreaded the thought of having to explain it all to Elaine.  
  
She got up and went to her closet, standing on her tip-toes to reach the wooden box she kept at the far back of the top shelf. Pulling it down, she ran her hand over the top of the dusty box.  
  
She hadn't pulled that box out since they had moved to this flat over two years ago. And hadn't opened it in seven years.  
  
She placed the box on the desk and sat down, pulling out the middle drawer. In the back, she felt around until she found a key ring. She hesitated before putting the key in the lock on the box.   
  
The hinges creaked as she lifted the lid. She sat there frozen, as if she was surprised by the contents, though she knew exactly what to expect.  
  
She could see the few mementos she had kept from the wizarding world. A few pictures, a shrunken copy of her favorite book, Hogwarts a History, and a couple of other small odds and ends she hadn't been able to part with.  
  
And on top lay her wand. 10 and three-quarter inches vine wood with dragon heartstring. Out of everything she had given up to live as a muggle, putting away her wand had been the most difficult. It was like an extension of herself, part of her arm. Part of her soul. It had nearly killed her to lock it away, but she had known that she would never been able to live as a muggle if it was within easy reach.  
  
Unconsciously, her hand started to drift toward the wand. When she came to herself, she jerked her hand back, slamming the box closed and locking it quickly. She knew if she picked it up now, she wouldn't be able to put it down again. And she wasn't ready for that, and neither was Elaine. 

* * *

Sirius rolled his eyes as he pushed the door open, the first one out of the room. This was his third consecutive day of anger management classes, and he was so annoyed. This class was a joke.   
  
The four other people attending the class were all there by some sort of mandate, just as he was. None of them actually took it seriously, which was fine by him. The problem was the counselor, Healer Mulgrew, thought it was the most important thing in the world, and Sirius needed his go ahead to get back to work.  
  
He was trying to play nice, doing all the exercises he was told to do, and talking about all the anger he had and why he thought he struggled. But it was all crap.  
  
He was happy he got two days off. It was Friday and they only ran the classes during the week.   
  
He was going over to visit with Harry tomorrow afternoon. He had been released from St. Mungo's that morning, and Ginny had suggested (demanded) that he be allowed to settle in without visitors. Sirius had complied without complaint, even though the witch's high-handed attitude always rubbed him the wrong way. It's was more important now than ever to keep the peace as Harry recovered.   
  
As Sirius made his way home, he thought over the progress he had made in the last three days with finding Hermione, which was none at all. He had spent hours at the bakery observing and talking to the customers and the employees, all for nothing. He didn't expect for her to show up again, but since it was his only lead, he had to try. He had been hoping maybe she was a regular, and someone would know her. No such luck.  
  
Sirius was frustrated, but he wasn't giving up. He knew there were muggle methods for finding people, but based on his research, you needed the name of the person you were looking for, and he was certain if he looked for 'Hermione Granger' the search would come up empty. If she was still using her given name, Harry would have found her, even in the muggle world. He had no idea what name she could be going by.  
  
Sirius reached his flat, a small, two bedroom above a shop in Diagon Alley. Everyone had been surprised when he bought the place just a few weeks after coming back from the Veil. It was a bit Spartan, and he rarely had anyone over. It was just a place for him to escape. 

Sirius knew that everyone had expected him to live it up, making up for all the years he'd lost. But the truth was, he was a bit of a recluse. He was uncomfortable in crowds, and really didn't like most people, though he'd gotten better at faking it over the last five years.  
  
He felt like he'd disappointed some of the most important people in his life, namely Harry and Remus. Instead of the fun-loving, happy, social man they probably expected, they got grumpy, angry, anti-social Sirius. He did what he could for the people he loved, but he couldn't be a different person for them. 

* * *

At 6 pm, Sirius made his way to the Lupin's with their favorite bottle of wine. They lived in a small cottage in the woods, well out of the way from civilization, a precaution Remus insisted on for his monthly transformations. But it was cozy and warm, as different as could be from Sirius' flat. Going there was one of the only social activities he truly enjoyed, and he appreciated that Tonks and Remus made a point to invite him over on a regular basis.   
  
Remus opened the back door for him when he knocked and ushered him through the small mudroom to the kitchen. Tonks stood at the stove, large wooden spoon in hand, mixing some sort of concoction in a large pot.  
  
"Wotcher, Sirius!" She smiled, presenting her cheek for a kiss. Giving her a peck, he peered suspiciously into the pot. Whatever it was looked quite lumpy.  
  
Tonks smacked his arm, "No peeking! It's a new recipe." Sirius quickly looked over his shoulder at Remus, who shrugged his shoulders helplessly. Tonks was a notoriously terrible cook, though she loved to try new things, and Sirius often had the misfortune of being her guinea pig.  
  
"So how is our favorite Hogwart's third year?" Sirius asked, inquiring after their thirteen-year-old son, Teddy.   
  
"He's doing great. Started the year off right by making the Hufflepuff Quidditch team. He's a Chaser." Remus beamed, every bit the proud father.  
  
"That's awesome. Maybe Hufflepuff has a shot at the Quidditch cup this year."   
  
Tonks laughed at Sirius’ comment. "Nothing can make that happen! I love my house, but they've always been rubbish at Quidditch."  
  
Sirius shrugged, "I choose to keep the faith. They've never had Teddy Lupin on the team before."  
  
"Well, let's not put too much pressure on him! Why don't you boys open that bottle of wine and wait in the sitting room. I'll call you when dinner's ready. It'll be about fifteen minutes."  
  
They obeyed, and Sirius settled on the sitting room sofa, Remus in the arm chair by the fire. Remus looked a little worse for wear, as the full moon was only a few days away.  
  
Sirius had made it his mission to not let Moony be alone on any full moon since he'd come back. So, he'd be back in a few days to spend the night as Padfoot. It was something he actually felt good about doing in his life.  
  
"We went to visit Harry this afternoon," Remus said. Sirius huffed. "What?"  
  
"I was banished. Told Harry needed rest and no visitors."   
  
Remus shook his head. "I don't know what you did to anger Ginny, but she really just can't stand you."  
  
"I think she inherited the trait from her mother."   
  
"You seem to have that charming effect on many people, Padfoot." Remus swirled his wine around his glass, obviously thinking about something, then he looked up at Sirius. "I'm worried about you, Sirius."  
  
Sirius laughed bitterly, "What's there to worry about? It's not anything I haven't been through before."  
  
"I'm not talking about the reprimand. I'm talking about Harry's injury. I know you're blaming yourself."  
  
"Of course I'm blaming myself! That's because I'm to blame!" Sirius was not in the mood for this discussion.  
  
"Don't be so damned dramatic. Harry was doing his job. He knows the risks, the dangers. And he doesn't blame you for what happened."  
  
Sirius was on his feet pacing toward the fire, "You don't understand! I didn't protect him! It's my job! As his godfather and as his partner! And it could have been so much worse! He could have been killed!"  
  
"I understand better than you think." Remus replied calmly after a few moments. "I kiss my wife goodbye every day, knowing it may be the last time I see her alive. And the two other most important people to me besides Teddy, you and Harry, are out there every day too."  
  
Sirius closed his eyes, leaning his head on his arms over the mantle. "I know."  
  
He was expecting Remus to continue, but he didn't. Maybe he was waiting on Sirius to break the silence. After several minutes, and without any forethought he blurted out "I saw Hermione."

He glanced over at Remus who we staring at him in slack-jawed shock, "Hermione?! Hermione Granger?"  
  
"How many other Hermiones have you come across, Moony?" Sirius leaned back from the mantle and took a seat in the chair next to Remus. "It was at a muggle bakery Ginny sent me to when Harry was in the hospital."  
  
"Did you tell him?"  
  
"No. I almost did, but she made it very clear she didn't want to be found. So, of course I have been trying to find her. I didn't want to tell Harry until I figure out what's going on with her. She's been living as a muggle. Didn't even know I was back."  
  
"That's surprising. Walking away from magic is never easy, and she was such a strong witch."  
  
Sirius shrugged. "I'm more concerned about why she ran away, leaving Harry to worry over her for the last eight years."  
  
"We don't know the whole story of what happened with Ron, Padfoot. Try not to judge her too harshly. Have you made any progress finding her?"  
  
"No. I need to try and figure out what name she's been using, because I know it's not her real one. But I don't know what to go on."  
  
"You should try owling Minerva. The school would have records of her. Middle name, parent’s name, where she grew up. It may give you a place to start." Remus suggested.

 Sirius nodded, thinking. "That's actually a really good idea. I'm kind of annoyed I didn't think of it."  
  
"You've had a lot on your mind."  
  
Tonks called them into dinner then, and the subject was dropped


	4. Chapter 4

Hermione had enjoyed her weekend with Elaine. She didn't have any pressing deadlines, so she was actually able to go the whole weekend without working, which was unusual.   
  
Elaine was quieter than usual, but she said nothing was bothering her. Hermione was guessing she had been picking up Hermione's own emotional upheaval, and it was affecting her too, however unconsciously.    
  
Hermione's guilt was eating away at her. She had put the box back in the closet, but opening it had stirred something in her that had been long suppressed. She could feel her magic, so long ignored, rising up in her again. It felt glorious. And it was terrifying.  
  
Hermione had always known that she would have to explain everything one day. In less than five years, Elaine would receive her Hogwarts letter, and Hermione knew it would go so much more smoothly if she already knew about the wizarding world.   
  
But Hermione had been putting it off for one reason or another. First because Elaine was too young to understand, but that excuse had started getting much too thin over the last couple years. Hermione knew it was for her own sake she didn't want to tell Elaine, and that selfish reasoning made Hermione feel even worse.  
  
She had a constant knot in her stomach since she had run into Sirius. She couldn't help but feel like she was going to turn around and he was going to be standing there again.  
  
Maybe she was just being paranoid. After all, she had made sure she was difficult to find. Not impossible though.  
  
It had been almost like a test. When she had first moved to the muggle world, she had changed her name, but anyone who knew her well and was determined to find her could have. For the first year, she kept expecting Harry to show up at her doorstep. But he never showed, and Hermione came to accept that Harry either truly had no interest in finding her, or didn't know her well enough to know where to look. In either case, Hermione had decided to move on and try to forget about her old life.  
  
Sirius probably didn't care enough about her personally to look for her. But based on what he had said, Harry was a concern, and she knew him well enough to know he would do anything for Harry. So, she was expecting to see him at any time. And Hermione didn't know how to deal with that.   
  
But sitting here on the sofa, snuggled up under a blanket with Elaine, watching their favorite movie, a bowl of popcorn between them, she could pretend for one more night that everything was normal and her world was not about to implode.

* * *

Sirius scratched out another name on his quickly dwindling list. He threw his pen down on the desk and growled in frustration.   
  
He was at the London Library, ensconced in one of the many computer stations there. After a few false starts of trying to navigate the internet, and having to be helped several times by the pimply faced college kid working the circulation desk, he finally had settled into his search.   
  
It had taken him several days and numerous owls to McGonagall to convince the stern headmistress to part with Hermione's school records. She cited confidentiality and ethics, blah, blah, blah. However, in the end, her soft spot for the wayward Gryffindor had won out, and she had sent him everything she had on file, though she had made him promise to keep her updated on his progress.  
  
He had spent the last two days combing the records, making a list of all the possible name combinations he could come up with. He had felt confident she would be going by one of the combinations, and had decided to use the muggle internet to aide his search.  
  
His confidence, and his patience, were running on empty at this point. He had been there for hours, and while he has found a number of matches for the names, none had fit Hermione's description.  
  
He only had a handful of names left, and then he'd be back at square one. He hated the idea of going to Harry with nothing to show for his efforts.   
  
He typed in the next name on his list, Jean Michaels, a combination of her middle name and the street she grew up on. Two matches popped up. A 53-year-old living in Soho, and a 31-year-old living on the outskirts of the city.  
  
Sirius' heart nearly stopped. Though not much to go by, at least the age was right, which was far closer than he had gotten so far. He jotted down the address, and returned to the main search page. Typing the name in again, he scrolled the results for anything that would confirm Jean Michaels as Hermione Granger.  
  
There was nothing else to find. Sirius was disappointed with the lack of information, but it was something at least. He finished searching the list of names, and nothing came up. So, armed with a name and home address, he packed up his notes, and started making his way to St. Mungo's for his afternoon class.  
  
He thought about his options. He knew if he tried to contact her in writing, she would just ignore him. Should he run surveillance at the address? He knew there was a decent possibility this Jean Michaels wasn't even Hermione, so maybe he should scope it out to confirm.  
  
But what good would that do? He may as well just go knock on her door and get it all over with. If it wasn't her, he could try to figure out another angle. And if it was her? Well, he'd figure that out when the time came.  
  
He decided he would try the address on Saturday morning. That way, if no one was home, he could try again over the weekend when the likelihood of someone being home was higher. That would also give him several days to figure out what to say if Hermione was the one on the other side of the door,


	5. Chapter 5

Hermione was enjoying the rare day home alone. Elaine had been invited for a day out with a couple girls from her class. One of the girl's mother had picked her up for the morning and early afternoon and would be dropping her off when they were done.   
  
Hermione couldn't remember the last time she had been home all alone. The experience was strange, and she was at a bit of a loss. Should she work on something? A project she didn't usually have time to do with Elaine home? Should she relax? That concept was almost completely foreign to her.  
  
She had just settled on the couch to flip through some catalogs when there was a knock at the door. Glancing at the clock, she saw it was only 11, more than two hours before Elaine was supposed to be home.   
  
Suddenly worried something was wrong, Hermione rushed to the door and swung it open without checking through the peephole, something she never did.  
  
Maybe she should have been surprised to see Sirius Black standing on the other side of the door, arms crossed, shoulder against the jamb, and cocky smirk on his lips. But she had felt her old life creeping in on her for over a week since the bakery, and she had been resigned to this, even if she hadn’t been sure it would happen.  
  
She just stared at him, scowl on her face. He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Hello Jean. Aren't you going to invite me in?"    
  
She almost slammed the door in his face, but she knew the childish response wouldn't get rid of him, it would just make her look foolish. So, she stepped back, pulling the door open wide in an unspoken invitation. He stepped into the living room and quickly glanced around.   
  
Suddenly very aware of how much Elaine paraphernalia lay around, Hermione slammed the door shut to gain his attention. She didn't want him finding out about her daughter.  
  
His head snapped back to her. "Happy to see me?"  
  
"Hardly. I seem to remember telling you to leave me alone."  
  
Sirius shrugged, turning to face her fully. "Those weren't your exact words, but I'm sure that was your meaning. I've never been particularly good at following directions. I'm sure you remember."  
  
"I remember that it got you killed."  
  
"Well, I'm standing here now. No harm, no foul." Sirius smirked at her again. "You didn't make it easy on me, I'll give you that. But I was determined."  
  
Hermione was having trouble controlling her heartbeat. "Why bother looking for me at all? What do you want with me, Sirius?"  
  
Sirius' face suddenly clouded over, his brow furrowing. "I told you when we met. I want answers for Harry, and I'm not leaving here without them."  
  
Hermione laughed bitterly. "Answers to what questions? I can guarantee that any question you ask me, Harry already knows the answer to."   
  
Sirius seemed nonplussed by that statement for a minute. He obviously believed her to be completely in the wrong and Harry to be the victim. Harry definitely hadn't told him what had happened eight years ago.  
  
"I'm guessing by the look on your face, you don't actually know what happened. Harry didn't tell you? Because if he had, you would understand."  
  
"Understand you abandoning your friend? No, I'll never understand that!" Sirius spat, suddenly angry.  
  
Hermione smiled wanly, "You should talk to Harry. Ask him what happened. I know you have strong views on friendship and betrayal because of what happened in your past. I'm guessing that's why he never told you."  
  
Sirius once again seemed wrong-footed. Hermione was internally pleased that she had gained the upper-hand, "Will you do that for me Sirius? Talk to Harry. Ask him the questions you were going to ask me. And if you don't get your answers, I'll tell you what you want to know.  
  
But please, send me a note. I'll meet you somewhere. I don't want you showing up on my doorstep again!"  
  
Sirius stared at her intently, scowling, gray eyes, angry. After a few moments, he nodded. She opened the door for him to leave, but as he crossed the threshold, she thought of something else that made him pause, "And I think you should ask yourself this. It took you a little over a week to find me, and you barely knew me. How is that Harry hasn't managed to find me in eight years?"  
  
With that, she slammed the door in his face.

* * *

Sirius was fuming, staring at the door she had just slammed in his face. That woman made his blood boil!  
  
He was more than a little angry that she had gained the upper-hand during their conversation, but he was willing to admit she was right. He never should have gone in there without being armed with all the available info. But his hesitation to bring up running into Hermione had stopped him from asking Harry. He could see now that had been a mistake.  
  
As he made his way down the stairs, he thought about what she had said. Why hadn't Harry found her? He had asked himself that question several times since he had found 'Jean Michaels' online.   
  
Once outside, he thought about apparating straight to Grimmauld Place, but quickly decided against it. Ginny would be there, and Sirius didn't want her butting into the conversation.  
  
He decided he would go Monday morning. Harry still had at least a week before he was cleared to go back to work, but Ginny was back to work on Monday, so he and Harry could talk without interruption.

* * *

Harry greeted Sirius warmly and led him into the sitting room. Sirius felt immediately guilty. His preoccupation with finding Hermione and his desire to avoid Harry's harpy wife had lead him to stay away for longer than he would have otherwise.  
  
He let Harry guide the conversation for a while, waiting for a lull. Then, into the silence he said, "I ran into Hermione."  
  
Harry immediately sat up ramrod straight, "Hermione! What? Where?! Is she ok? When did you see her?!"  
  
Sirius raised his hands, placating. This was going to be difficult, "She's fine. I ran into her when you were in the hospital. I didn't want to tell you because she was less than receptive to me, and I didn’t want you to get your hopes up."  
  
"But she was ok?"  
  
"Yes. Angry, but fine. I've spent my suspension looking for her again. And I found her. Went and saw her over the weekend."  
  
With that news, Harry deflated, "You found her? So quickly?"  
  
Sirius' voice was suddenly hard, "Yes, it wasn't all that difficult either. Makes me wonder why you failed so many times."  
  
Harry cringed at his godfather's words, but didn't respond. The silence stretched on for a few minutes, and Harry was growing more uncomfortable by the moment. Sirius suddenly had a growing knot in his stomach. There was obviously something to Hermione's claim that Harry knew more than he had let on.  
  
"Harry," Sirius said firmly, making the other man jump, "Tell me what happened eight years ago."  
  
At first, he didn't think Harry was going to respond, but then he launched into the story without hesitation, "Ron and Hermione got together after the final battle. They had always had a pretty volatile friendship, and that translated into a volatile relationship. But, they seemed happy with each other, so I assumed all was well. And it was, for a while at least.  
  
Hermione went back to Hogwarts to complete her seventh year as Ron and I started Auror training. Things were great. Until Hermione graduated with an obscene amount of NEWTS and landed a job at the ministry in the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures at the same time Ron was flunking out of Auror training.  
  
Things were rough for a while. Ron's never been one to handle jealousy well, and Hermione was doing wonderfully launching her career. But then he got a job working with Fred and George, and things got better again.  
  
Anyway, you get the picture. There was a lot of up and downs for them. But they stuck it out, and got engaged a few months after Ginny and I got married. I was thrilled! We were all going to be officially family.  
  
But then, about six months before the wedding, Hermione came to me. She said she believed Ron was cheating on her and had been for some time. I scoffed at her suggestion. Ron was jealous and sometimes quick to anger, but a cheater? No, I couldn't believe it.  
  
But Hermione was convinced. She begged me to confront Ron about it. I was pissed that she wanted to put me in the middle, but I agreed. But I never did. I told Hermione a couple weeks later that I had confronted him, and he had denied it, and that I believed him. She seemed appeased. She trusted me to be honest."  
  
Harry stopped talking, leaning over, his elbows on his knees, hands gripped in his hair. He suddenly stood up and paced toward the window, leaning against the frame looking out into the street.  
  
"She showed up again here just a few weeks before the wedding. She was distraught, crying, saying that it was over with Ron. They had a big fight and she wasn't going to marry a cheating bastard like him. I didn't have a chance to respond before Ginny walked in. She was pregnant with James then, hormonal, and her emotions were all keyed up. She started in on Hermione, saying she was a liar and she would make a horrible wife and mother, and that Ron deserved so much better than her. That her whole family would take Ron's side.   
  
Hermione... she looked so destroyed. I--I... She came me for comfort, and I..."  
  
Harry seemed unable to continue. Sirius waited him out, the knot in his stomach growing tighter. Harry finally began again. "I told her to leave. Ginny was so worked up, I was worried about her and the baby. And I was angry that Hermione had once again put me in an awkward position. I told Hermione that I didn't want to get in the middle, but if I had to, I would side with my family, which included Ron. That I thought she was just being paranoid about Ron cheating and she should get over herself if she wanted to keep us all in her life."   
  
Harry choked off then, clearly on the verge of tears. Sirius was stunned. The words Harry was telling him he had said were so out of character for the man. Sirius couldn't fathom him actually having said them to Hermione.   
  
After a few more minutes, Harry seemed to gather himself, "She didn't say a word. She just walked out of the room, out the front door, and then out of my life. I--I'm ashamed to say I didn't look for her for a long time. Ron had assured all of us that her accusations had been unfounded, and I believed him. I thought when she calmed down and realized her mistake, she would come back."  
  
"Oh Harry, how could you?" Sirius murmured quietly into the silence.  
  
Harry turned towards him, laughing bitterly, "Believe me Sirius, I've asked myself the same question every day for the last eight years."  
  
Sirius could see the tears tracks on his cheeks though his eyes were dry now. "So, what happened?"  
  
Harry shrugged. "She never came back. When weeks turned to months, I tried to contact her. Owled her, went to her flat, her job. But she was gone. She had quit her job and left her flat. No forwarding address.  
  
I'll admit I didn't try very hard. I was ashamed of myself, and I was too much of a coward to face her, though I worried about her. But I still thought that she would come back eventually.  
  
About two years later, Ron was caught red handed cheating on his new girlfriend. I--I was blown away. I guess I shouldn't have been, but I truly believed Hermione had been wrong. That's why Ron and I aren't all that close anymore. I just couldn't..." He trailed off.  
  
"Why didn't you tell me? This has obviously been tearing you up inside," Sirius questioned.  
  
"Because I couldn't stand the thought of you being disappointed in me!" Harry exploded. "I hate myself for what happened, and I just didn't want you..."  
  
Sirius stood and walked over to him, putting his hands on Harry's shoulders, "I could never hate you Harry, though I won't deny being disappointed. You were her best friend, she should have been able to count on you, no matter what."  
  
Harry nodded miserably, "I know," he whispered. There were tears in his eyes again. Sirius wrapped his arms around him.   
  
"We'll figure this out Harry. We'll make it right," he felt Harry sag against him.   
  
Sirius was determined to make it right for Harry. But he had no idea how.


	6. Chapter 6

Hermione sat at the dining table, sipping her tea and reading through the Sunday morning newspaper. It was past the time Elaine usually got up, but she appeared to be having a lie in this morning, so Hermione was using the time to catch up on current events.   
  
She jumped, nearly spilling hot tea on herself, when there was a loud tapping at the window over the kitchen sink. She stared, dumbfounded, at the large grey owl sitting in the sill, watching her through the glass expectantly.  
  
‘Damn that man!’ she thought as she rushed to the window, quickly letting the bird through. She glanced down the hall to confirm Elaine's bedroom door was still closed before removing the note from the owl's outstretched foot. The owl made no move to leave, obviously having been instructed to wait for a reply. Hermione offered it a crust leftover from her morning toast as she unrolled the parchment.  
  
_H-_ _  
  
I talked to Harry. I understand now, but I'd still like to meet. Let me know where and when, and I'll come to you.   
  
-S_  
  
Hermione sighed. She knew he would contact her after he talked to Harry. Though she was not surprised, she was not happy to hear from him either. She grabbed a pen from the counter and scribbled a quick note back to him.  
  
_Tomorrow_ _at_ _12:30 pm_ _at the bakery. I can meet on my lunch break for thirty minutes, no more._  
  
Also, while I'm sure you owled just to upset me, kindly refrain from doing so in the future. I'd rather my neighbors not call Animal Control. If you can figure out how to find me in the muggle world, I'm quite confident you can figure out the muggle post.  
  
She quickly attached the note to the owl's leg and shooed it out the window. As she pulled it closed and latched, she heard Elaine's door open. She spun around and plastered a big smile on her face.  
  
"What was that noise?" Elaine asked, shoulder length, blond curls a mess from sleep. She was carrying her Teddy, and she slipped quickly into Hermione's arms for a morning hug.  
  
"It was nothing, hon. Sleep well?"  
  
Elaine nodded and settled at the table for breakfast. Hermione decided to try not to worry about her meeting with Sirius tomorrow and enjoy the day with her daughter.

* * *

 Hermione had been out of sorts all morning. First, she burned her toast and knocked her teacup off the counter, shattering it. Then she had forgotten her Monday morning status meeting until the last second, so she was almost late to it, though thankfully she squeezed in just as Mr. Andrews was swinging the conference room door closed.  
  
By noon, she was so flustered, she nearly forgot her purse when leaving for the bakery. She remembered it as she was waiting for the elevator, and had to rush back to her desk.   
  
She had decided to walk to the shop instead of drive or take the tube. The air was crisp, and Hermione felt like she needed to clear her mind and calm down.   
  
She was determined not to provide much detail. She would answer Sirius' questions if they weren't too intrusive, but she would absolutely not tell him anything about Elaine. And she did not want to let him get a rise out of her or make her feel wrong-footed.  
  
When she arrived at the bakery five minutes early, she was not at all surprised to see Sirius already and sitting at the back corner table, facing the door. He saw her immediately, and as she made her way over to the table, he pushed the chair out for her with his foot.  
  
‘Quite the gentleman,’ Hermione thought sarcastically as she took a seat after hanging her jacket on the back of the chair.   
  
She had decided not to initiate the conversation since he was the one to call the meeting. But after she sat down, nothing was forth coming. Sirius seemed content to study her, rather more intently than Hermione was comfortable with. So, Hermione decided to do the same.  
  
She hadn't paid close attention to him the first couple times she had seen him. Beyond noticing he was alive and quite annoying, nothing had stood out to her. But she was paying attention now.  
  
He looked older now than she remembered, but not as old as he should be had he not fallen through the Veil. He must not have aged while he was gone, meaning if he had been back five years, he'd be in his early forties.  
  
He was more causal today in jeans and a black t-shirt, a leather jacket hanging on the back of his chair. His hair fell forward rather than swept back from his face as it had been the first time she saw him, but she could still see some gray threaded through at the temples. And his face was scruffier, verging more on a full beard.  
  
When she was done with her observations, Sirius still hadn't spoken. As the minutes stretched out, Hermione burst out, "I told you I only had a half an hour!"  
  
Sirius’ face split into a grin, and Hermione realized he had been waiting for her to break, and she had obliged him. She had just disregarded almost all the rules she had set for herself for this meeting in the first five minutes.   
  
"Sorry about that. Just wanted to know how much of the old Hermione was still in there. It's nice to see she isn't completely gone."   
  
Hermione bristled at his words. "I can't say I feel the same about you. Still as annoying and immature as ever!"  
  
Sirius kept his grin for a moment, gray eyes twinkling. Then he sobered, "I asked Harry, as you requested. He told me the whole story. I'm sorry you went through that, Hermione. Harry should have been there for you, no matter what Ginny or Ron thought or wanted."  
  
Hermione flushed, hating to be reminded of the incident that had completely changed the course of her life. She studied Sirius for any signs of insincerity, of any indication that he was baiting her, but she saw nothing.   
  
"It's not a part of my past that I’m particularly proud of. I always prided myself on my ability to be rational, and that night I was completely overtaken by emotions. It was a very low point for me, one that I'm not keen to relive." Her voice held a hard edge to it, trying to warn Sirius off of pushing the topic.  
  
But he didn't push for details. "I'm no stranger to emotional reactions, you'll get no judgement from me on that count. But why not come back? Why live as a muggle?"  
  
Blond curls and ice blue eyes flashed behind Hermione's eyes. She would not tell him the real reason. Could not give that part of herself to this man she barely remembered knowing in a completely different life.

* * *

 Sirius watched her closely as she searched her brain for an answer. By the amount of time it took her to formulate a response, it was clear she was hiding something. Sirius wondered what it was, but decided waiting her out and letting her work through things on her own would be the best tactic for getting the answers he wanted.  
  
Finally, she spoke, avoiding his eyes and studying the wall behind his ear. "I didn't leave immediately after that night. I actually stayed for several months. I was waiting. Waiting for Harry, or one of the Weasleys, or even Ron to come to see me. Just to make sure I was alive, if nothing else. But no one came. And I realized that the family I had built for myself didn't... I realized I was alone. It wasn't a good feeling. So, I left. And I made it so I couldn't easily be found, though I really didn't think anyone was looking.  
  
As for why I chose to live as muggle... I had my reasons, which had nothing to do with that night. I'd prefer to keep them to myself."  
  
Sirius nodded, allowing her to keep her privacy for now. "And now? Do you not have any desire to reconnect with your old life? With Harry?"  
  
That obviously struck a nerve. Hermione suddenly became very agitated, brown eyes crackling. "You can honestly ask me that after hearing what happened? No, I don't think reconnecting is going to be on my to-do list any time soon!"  
  
Sirius held his hands up in surrender, "Ok, I get it. Not ready to forgive and forget."  
  
Hermione took a deep, shaky breath, and rubbed her eyes. "I can't forgive someone who has never apologized. Harry could have found me at any point if he really wanted to. You did!"  
  
"I know that looks bad for Harry. And if it's any consolation, he really does hate himself for what happened. That's why he didn't tell me before." Sirius watch her closely. She closed her eyes for a long moment. When she opened them, they had been drained of her previous anger.  
  
"Did he ask where I was?" She asked. "I'm assuming you told Harry you found me. Did he ask you how to get in touch with me?"  
  
Sirius opened his mouth in the affirmative, but stopped. Had Harry asked where she was? No. He had asked how she was, but not where.  
  
His hesitation was enough. Suddenly, she was on her feet, "That's all I needed to know. Look Sirius, I know you love Harry and just want what's best for him, but you can't fix this. And I'm not going to seek him out after everything. I'm sorry, but I'm due back at work.  
  
She had her coat on and was halfway to the door before he caught up with her. He grabbed her arm to stop her, but immediately dropped it when she spun around angrily.  
  
"I've given you your answers," she hissed at him, "Please, let me be."  
  
Sirius wanted to argue with her, but he didn't think it would help the situation, "I'll leave you alone, Hermione. But please just think about Harry. He's too ashamed to come to you."  
  
Hermione studied him for a moment, then nodded. Then she was out the door in a flash. 


	7. Chapter 7

Hermione didn't hear from Sirius again. Weeks passed, and she fully expected him to pop up, demanding she forgive Harry. But he appeared to be respecting her wishes to be left alone.  
  
But she was annoyed with herself that she couldn't stop thinking about everything. The wizarding world, Harry, even Sirius, kept creeping into her mind daily.  
  
She had found herself hovering in the doorway to her closet, looking up at the box from her past on more than one occasion. She had even pulled it down once, but she hadn't opened it again.  
  
What was wrong with her? It was as if some gateway had been opened with Sirius reminding her of her past, and now she couldn't let it go. She hadn't even thought about it this much when she had first locked her wand up.  
  
It was late on a Friday night, and Hermione was tossing and turning. Elaine had been in bed for hours, but Hermione hadn't been able to fall asleep.   
  
As she lay there, she could feel her magic, simmering just under the surface, practically begging to be released.  
  
She got up suddenly and padded quickly to the closet, pulling down the box and placing it on the bed, then retrieving the key from the back of the drawer.   
  
She sat down cross legged on the bed, box in front of her. Without stopping to analyze what she was about to do, she unlocked the box. Her wand lay there, right on top.  
  
She reached her hand out, hesitating only for a moment before grasping it firmly in her hand. Immediately, she felt the power surge through her.  
  
While wands were technically only tools through which someone's magic was focused, they were very powerful magical objects in and of themselves. Hermione had performed powerful spells with this wand and she could feel it humming with power, reunited with its perfect match once again.  
  
She lifted it clear of the box, and used her free hand to run her fingers over the design. How well she had known this wand. How much she had missed it. She truly hadn't realized until this moment.  
  
Then, sitting in the dim moonlight allowed in by her curtains, she held the wand out in front of her and whispered, "Lumos." The tip immediately burst into a bright light, illuminating the room around her.   
  
Hermione's face broke into a grin. Her magic was surging through her with just that one little spell. It felt glorious.  
  
Then she sobered. She knew now she would never be able to go back to the quaint, non-magic life she had been living. She would never be able to part with her magic again.  
  
She didn't know what would happen, what the future would hold, but she knew it was time to tell Elaine.

* * *

Hermione spent most of the night trying to figure out how to explain everything to Elaine, only falling asleep when the room started to brighten with the rising of the sun.  
  
She was woken a couple hours later by the sound of the TV in the other room. She sat up, swinging her legs over the side of the bed. Fingering the wand on her bedside table, she decided to leave it there for now, until explanations were complete.  
  
She walked out into the living room seeing Elaine curled up on the couch, still in her pjs. She sat down next to her, smiling when Elaine automatically slipped her arms around her for their morning hug, "Good morning, hon. Sleep well?"  
  
Elaine sat back up and nodded, "Yes, but I woke up early. I ate breakfast already."  
  
"Good. I, umm, I have something I want to talk to you about. Could you turn the TV off, please?"  
  
Having done so, Elaine sat back and waited for Hermione to continue. Suddenly very nervous, Hermione started fidgeting with her dressing gown. A few moments later, she felt Elaine’s hand still hers, "Mummy, what's wrong?"  
  
Hermione smiled at her perceptive daughter, "Nothing is wrong. I just--I just wanted to tell you something about myself. You're old enough now to understand, I think. And it's time for you to know."  
  
Elaine nodded, eyes curious. Hermione squeezed her hand, "Do you know what magic is? From books or TV?"  
  
"It's making something happen that shouldn't be able to happen," Elaine said promptly. She had been very into fantasy stories lately, so magic was often featured.  
  
Hermione smiled at Elaine's simple, but fairly accurate description. She nodded, "Yes, that's right. But I want you to know magic isn't make believe. It's real, and, well, I can use magic. I'm a witch. And so are you."  
  
Elaine stared at her for a long moment, before saying, "I know."  
  
Hermione was dumbfounded. She knew? How could she possibly know? "What do you mean Elaine?" She asked, voice somewhat on edge.  
  
Elaine shrugged, "I've made things happen before. Things I shouldn't have been able to do. I just figured I had magic. But I didn't know you did. Or that we were called witches."  
  
Hermione laughed, surprised, "Oh, Elaine, you are so amazing!"  
  
She grinned at that, "So, what can we do with magic?"  
  
"All sorts of things. Do you want to see?"   
  
Elaine nodded, getting up into her knees, practically bouncing in excitement. Hermione went and got her wand, "This is a wand. It's a witch's tool to cast spells, performing magic. This is mine."  
  
She held it out of Elaine to inspect, "Will I get a wand?" She asked.  
  
"You will, but not yet. I got my wand when I was eleven. That's when you'll go off to school to learn how to control your magic." She used her wand to cast a simple levitating charm on the TV remote, sitting on the coffee table. She lifted it up and danced it through the air to Elaine, who was giggling happily. She caught the remote, then seemed to study it for any signs of tampering.  
  
"How many witches are there?  How many spells? There's a school? What's it called?"   
  
Hermione held up her hands in surrender to her daughter's rapid-fire questions, "There's so much to tell, but I thought the best way might be just to show you. There's a place in London called Diagon Alley. Would you like to go see a place that's all magic?"  
  
"Yes!" Elaine cried, already on her feet, making her way to her room to get dressed.  
  
Hermione took a moment to marvel at Elaine's easy acceptance and excitement. Hermione had stressed for nothing, and she was so grateful.  
  
Her reasons for living in the muggle world still existed, but Hermione would just have to trust everything would work out because there was no going back now.

* * *

Sirius walked down the Alley, watching as the shoppers bustled to and fro. It was mid-October, but the weather was quite warm today, so it seemed like people were swarming more than usual.  
  
Despite living there, he didn't often venture into the shopping district. Too many people, and too many bodies bumping in to him or giving him nervous glances. His face was too recognizable, and not everyone fully accepted that he had been wrongfully imprisoned.   
  
While he didn't enjoy the crowd, he needed to pick up a few things, and since he'd been released from his suspension, he'd been working non-stop. This was the first morning in two weeks he'd really had time to himself.  
  
He was done with his shopping, and it was lunchtime. He thought about going back to his flat, but he decided it wouldn't hurt to grab a bite at the Leaky Cauldron.   
  
He was making his way there when he saw her. She was on the other side of the Alley. Her hair was down, the first time he'd seen it that way since she was a teenager. Her wild curls fell down around her shoulders.   
  
He stopped short, shocked to see her. After his last visit, he had successfully put her from his mind. Mostly. She had asked him to leave her alone, and he was planning on doing so, for the time being at least. He hadn't told Harry about their last meeting since nothing had come from it, but he planned to go back to her eventually, when she had time to stew over everything.  
  
But here she was. In the heart of London's wizarding world. Why? Had she suddenly changed her mind and come looking for him? No, she didn't even know he lived here, and she seemed the type to write before a visit anyway.  
  
She hadn't seen him, so he could still slip away unnoticed. But his curiosity was peaked, so he cut across the crowd to intercept her.  
  
"Fancy meeting you here," he said, stopping just in front her, making her jump back with a squeak. Her chocolate brown eyes flew to his, panic plainly written across her face. Confused by her reaction, his eyes were suddenly drawn to the little girl who had been hidden from his sight in the crowd.   
  
She was holding Hermione's hand. While her coloring was different, straw blond hair and startling blue eyes, the wild curls that framed the girl's face clearly marked her as Hermione's daughter.  
  
He was completely flabbergasted. Hermione, a mother? No wonder she had been so protective of her secrets. She had been trying to hide the girl from him. To what end, he didn't know.   
  
His eyes searched out Hermione's again, to find her looking back at him, panic still evident, eyes pleading. What did she want him to do?  
  
"Hello," came a sweet, soft voice. The girl had evidently decided the uncomfortable silence had lasted too long. "Are you one of Mummy's wizarding friends?"  
  
Hermione knelt down to the girl, "We need to be going. Let's not bother Mr. Black."  
  
Mr. Black? What the hell? Sirius decided he had to do something. He had a feeling if Hermione was spooked now, she'd disappear into the ether again.  
  
"You’re not bothering me," he said, kneeling down in front of the pair. "And please never call me Mr. Black! The name is Sirius." He smiled at the girl, who smiled back. She looked to be about five or six, he decided, "And yes, your mum and I go way back."  
  
Hermione wrapped her arm around the girl, though he noticed the panic had receded from her face. What had she thought he'd do to the girl?  
  
"Is this your first time in Diagon Alley?" He asked the girl, who nodded. "Enjoying the trip?"  
  
"Oh yes, this place is amazing! I've never seen so many funny things. There are owls, and broomsticks, and all sorts of strange gadgets, and there's this bookstore with so many books! I love it here!" The girl burst out, seemingly without breath.  
  
Sirius laughed at the little chatterbox, uncharacteristically charmed by her enthusiasm. He glanced at Hermione, who seemed embarrassed. He winked at her to let her know he wasn't bothered by her daughter's excitement, "Sounds like you may love books as much as I remember your mother loving them."  
  
"Mummy fixes mistakes in books for her job. Before they're sold in the stores." Sirius raised his eyebrows at Hermione. So, she worked as an editor in the muggle world? Apparently, all he needed to do was meet her daughter to learn something about her.  
  
Hermione, clearly uncomfortable with being left out of the conversation, interjected, "Hon, it's time to get going."  
  
"Oh, we're going to a place called the Leaky Cauldron for lunch! Mummy, we should invite Sirius to come with."  
  
"No, I'm sure Sirius has other plans," Hermione said quickly.   
  
"What do you know, I was actually headed there for lunch myself." He very nearly laughed at the annoyed look that passed over Hermione's face. "I'd love to join you, but I need you to do something for me first." He said to the girl.  
  
"What's that?"   
  
"You have to tell me your name," he stage whispered, making the girl giggle.  
  
"Elaine Michaels," she said, holding out her hand for him to shake.  
  
"It's nice to meet you, Elaine."  
  
Hermione was watching him closely. He smiled at her as he stood. She stood as well. "Lead on," she said, motioning down the way to the pub.  
  
Sirius took that as a sign of acceptance. That was progress.


	8. Chapter 8

Hermione held onto Elaine's hand tightly, though her own felt slick with sweat. What was she doing?  Sirius wasn't exactly the epitome of responsible behavior. She shouldn't trust him to spend the next hour with her six-year-old daughter.   
  
But here she was, sitting in a booth across from him, daughter by her side. He asked them what they wanted, then went up to the bar to order.   
  
"This place isn't too nice," Elaine said, nose crinkled up.  
  
Hermione laughed, looking around at the dingy pub. "No, it doesn't look very nice, but the food is tasty, and there are always interesting people in here."  
  
Sirius returned, carrying their drinks, pumpkin juice for Elaine, and butterbeer for herself and Sirius.   
  
She took a dip of the frothy liquid, and closed her eyes, savoring the flavor. She had always loved butterbeer. When she opened her eyes again, Sirius was smirking at her. She shot him a dirty look, annoyed at his observance of her.  
  
"So, what was your favorite part of Diagon Alley, Elaine?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Flourish and Blotts," the girl replied promptly.   
  
Hermione laughed, "A girl after my own heart."  
  
"Did you pick up your copy of  _Hogwarts, A History_? I seem to remember that being a favorite of your mum's." Sirius said, glancing side long at Hermione. He remembered that?   
  
"No. I wanted to, but it was too big for me. Mummy said we could get it later, when I get closer to going to school. I picked out some other books that I can read myself though. And I wanted to buy an owl, but Mummy wouldn't let me. Said our landlord wouldn't allow an owl in the flat."  
  
Sirius laughed at that, and Hermione couldn't help but join him. Elaine's enthusiasm was infectious.   
  
"What do you do for your job Sirius?" Elaine asked as their food arrived.  
  
"I'm an Auror," he answered.  
  
Hermione was surprised by that, "That's kind of like a police officer," she clarified to Elaine, who looked confused.  
  
"Oh. That sounds dangerous." The girl said gravely.  
  
"It can be, sometimes. But there's also lots of paperwork, which is just really boring."  
  
"Do you like it? Mummy doesn't like her job."  
  
"Elaine!" Hermione exclaimed, surprised and embarrassed by her daughter's statement, "What a thing to say!"  
  
"It's true. You aren't happy to go to work, and you always have to work at home. And you never smile when you're working." Elaine said matter of factly, completely oblivious to her mother's embarrassment.  
  
Sirius smiled softly at the girl, "Sometimes grown-ups go to work at jobs they don't love doing. And no, I don't really like my job, but I'm doing it for someone else. Which I'm guessing is why your mum is doing a job she doesn't like too."  
  
Hermione couldn't help but smile at that. He was right of course, she worked her job for Elaine. But who was he working his job for? She didn't ask.  
  
They passed a surprisingly pleasant lunch hour together. Sirius was on his best behavior with Elaine present, and he kept the easy banter going by peppering her chatterbox daughter with questions. Elaine seemed to respond well to the man, and she had to admit, he was quite good with the girl.  
  
When they were finished, Sirius tried to pay for them, but Hermione insisted she pay her own way. She and Elaine were headed home, so they were going to exit out to the muggle street.   
  
She stood awkwardly by the doorway as Sirius shook hands with Elaine again. Her daughter was smiling from ear to ear, and Hermione couldn't help but feel grateful to Sirius for being so good with her. Maybe she had judged him too harshly.  
  
"Thank you," she said quietly, "Elaine really enjoyed herself."  
  
Sirius nodded, "I'm glad. She's really a great kid."  
  
"Thanks. Umm, goodbye." She said making for the door, Elaine in tow.  
  
He just raised his hand in goodbye as the door swung shut behind them.

* * *

Sirius was at a loss for what to do. It had been almost a week since he had run into Hermione and Elaine in Diagon Alley. He felt like they had a good time with him. Hermione had been friendly and Elaine had been quite charming. He had actually enjoyed their company.

  
He was not the type of man to enjoy people's company, and the experience had left him confused.   
  
He was also feeling guilty over Harry. He still hadn't said anything about the time he had spent with Hermione. Then again, Harry hadn't asked. Shouldn't he have asked?  
  
Sirius needed to talk to someone, and the list of people he would want to talk to and trust was practically non-existent. So, he was currently waiting for Remus to join him for drinks at the Leaky Cauldron.   
  
He saw Remus enter and waved him over. As Remus slid into the booth across him, he pushed the firewhisky over the table to him.  
  
Remus raised his eyebrows, "Firewhisky? At this time of day?"  
  
Sirius shrugged, "For fortification." Remus furrowed his brow, but tipped the drink into his mouth.   
  
"I have to say, I was surprised to get your invitation, Padfoot. I can't remember the last time we met for drinks that wasn't initiated by me," Remus commented, watching Sirius closely.   
  
Sirius shrugged again, "Sorry I'm such a rubbish friend."  
  
"That's not what I meant. You're not exactly the most social person, but I enjoy spending time with you. It's just always me that has to come to you."  
  
Sirius considered his friend’s words. It was true, he couldn't remember the last time he had sought out Remus' company. What was wrong with him? Was he really that much of a recluse? He knew that he was.  
  
"So, what's on your mind?" Remus continued when Sirius didn't respond.  
  
"I--I need some advice..." Sirius cringed at the words, feeling stupid. Remus' eyebrows shot up in surprise.  
  
"Advice? Really?"  
  
"Yes, Remus, advice!" Sirius snapped irritably, "Don't make me regret asking you before I even start talking!"  
  
Remus held his hands up, "Sorry, sorry. I just wasn't expecting that. Tell me what's going on."  
  
Sirius sat back, slumped against the booth back. He wasn't sure how to explain, "Remember when I told you I had run into Hermione? That I was looking for her again?" Remus nodded in confirmation. "Well, I found her. And I've... I've, uhh, seen her a few times," he fumbled.  
  
"Ok?" Remus said, drawing out the syllables in a clear question.  
  
"And I don't know!" He burst out suddenly. "She's confusing the hell out of me, and I've barely spent two hours with the woman!"  
  
Remus raised his eyebrows again at the outburst, but just replied calmly, "Maybe you should start from the beginning."  
  
So Sirius told him the whole story. His contact with Hermione, Harry's story, Elaine, everything he could think of. By the end, he felt completely drained.   
  
"At first I was furious at her. I thought she had abandoned her best friend! And you know how I feel about that. But it turns out Harry was the one that abandoned her! I wasn't mad at Harry at first for that, disappointed yes, but not angry. But the more times goes by, the more annoyed I get that he hasn't asked about her. Where to find her or whether I've seen her again. It's like he doesn't really care! I just can't understand it!"  
  
"How does Hermione feel about Harry?" Remus asked.  
  
"Doesn't want anything to do with him. Says she can't forgive someone who hasn't apologized."  
  
"There's truth in that," Remus said, "Forgiveness is hard, even in the best of circumstances. And this situation is hardly ideal."  
  
"I know. I don't blame her, not anymore. But the truth is, I feel guilty over Harry. Guilty because I haven't kept him in the loop. Guilty because I'm starting to get annoyed with him for his indifference. And I don't know what I should do about Hermione. Should I leave her alone? Continue bugging her?"  
  
"Padfoot, how did you get yourself into this mess?"  
  
"I didn't mean too. I was just trying to look out for Harry at first, but now I don't know. Hermione sorta snuck up on me, and I feel like I can't just leave it be."  
  
Remus sighed, "Is this where the advice portion of the night comes in?" Sirius nodded. "Well, I'm not sure what to say. I can't say I knew Hermione all that well. I was always closer to Harry, but I do think you need to talk to Harry again. Tell him about your meetings with Hermione and ask him why he hasn't tried to get in touch with her since you found her.  
  
I don't think there's anything to be gained by leaving him out of the loop. Maybe he can tell you his reasoning, which may help you past your anger with him."  
  
"And Hermione? What should I do about her?"  
  
Remus didn't say anything at first, apparently mulling over his response, "I haven't seen you get invested in anyone since you've been back, Sirius. Whether it's anger or annoyance, or you're just intrigued by her, you are emotionally invested in her. I don't think leaving her alone is going to be an option for you, at least until you work through whatever mystery is still shrouding the whole situation."  
  
Sirius stared as his friend. Emotionally invested? What the hell did that mean? "I barely know the woman, Moony. I'm not 'emotionally invested' as you put it."  
  
"I think you are, or we wouldn't be here. And I don't think that is a bad thing. You've been living your whole life for Harry, who is a grown man with a family of his own. You never really found your way when you came back. You've shut yourself off whenever possible, work a job everyone knows you hate, and barely leave your flat outside of your regular schedule."  
  
"Thanks for the charming assessment of my useless life," Sirius growled, agitated by his friend's remarks.  
  
"That's just it, Padfoot, your life is not useless. I think being around Hermione may be bringing out something in you I haven't seen since before James and Lily died, and I don't want to see that disappear again."  
  
Sirius fidgeted with his empty glass. Maybe Remus was right. 


	9. Chapter 9

Hermione had just tucked Elaine in for the night. She had read her one of the books from Flourish and Blotts for what felt like hundredth time in the last week and a half. Elaine was completely smitten with all things magic.  
  
Hermione made way to her bedroom and sat down at her desk, switching on the lamp. She began sorting through the day's mail, something she did every night right after Elaine went to bed.   
  
Though mostly junk mail, one small envelope caught her eye. It was strangely old fashioned looking, with no return address. She didn't recognize the handwriting, and when she opened it, she was surprised to find a note from Sirius.   
  
_H-_ _  
  
I figured out the muggle post, as requested. I hope you're happy.   
_  
Hermione snorted at that. She continued the note with a smile on her face.  
  
_I know when we last saw each other, things were not settled. The time before, you asked me to leave you alone, and I did. Does that order still stand? Your answer will determine what I do next._ __  
  
-S  
  
Hermione thought about his inquiry. Did she want to see him again or be left alone?   
  
She didn't honestly know. She found him annoying and he often grated on her nerves, but they had a good lunch together, and she had been truly impressed by how well he did with Elaine. The girl had raved about him later, telling her he had definitely made a lasting impression. But she had run into him on accident. Should she seek out his company? If things kept progressing with Elaine and the wizarding world, she would be spending more time there. It may be helpful for them to have someone they knew. She wasn't sure if knowing Sirius would be good or bad for transitioning back into the world, but Hermione decided she was willing to give it a try.  
  
And what did he mean by her answer would determine what he does next? That sounded fairly ominous.  
  
She pulled a loose sheet of paper from her drawer to write a note back, but she hesitated. How would she deliver it to him? Muggle post wouldn't go to Diagon Alley, where he had indicated at lunch that he lived. She would have to hire an owl in the Alley to send it to him. Maybe she should just go there and see if she could find him? That seemed like a foolish plan, but if she couldn't find him, she could always hire an owl then. And Elaine would love another trip to her new favorite place.  
  
Hermione decided they would go Saturday.

* * *

It actually had been fairly easy to find out where Sirius lived. She had only had to ask a few shop owners before one told her he lived in a flat above Quality Quidditch Supplies.  
  
As she and Elaine made their way to the shop, Hermione wondered what he would think of her just showing up at his door. He didn't really strike her as a very easy-going guy, at least before he had spent time with Elaine. He seemed wound up pretty tight. Not that she could judge anyone for that.  
  
They entered the stairwell leading to the upper flats, and Hermione realized she didn't know what floor he lived on. There appeared to be three floors of flats above the two-story store below. She would just have to knock on doors. There was no answer at the first couple doors, so they went up one more flight. As soon as she knocked on that door, she heard a loud thump from the other side then muffled cursing. Though she couldn't distinguish the voice, she had a feeling they were in the right place.  
  
After a few more moments and some more cursing, the door was ripped open to reveal a very disheveled Sirius. He was in a t-shirt and jeans, very rumpled and clearly slept in. His shoulder length hair was a mess, his eyes were blood-shot and had heavy dark circles under them. He was clearly very hungover. His eyes briefly widened in shock, then flicked down to Elaine staring up at him. His shock seemed to turn to embarrassment.  
  
Hermione was embarrassed herself. Why had she thought bursting on in him would be a good idea? She didn't need Elaine to see him like this. "I'm sorry, this was a bad idea," she said quickly, turning to leave, dragging Elaine behind her.  
  
"No!" He practically shouted. She turned back to see him cringing and making a vain attempt to smooth out his hair. "You don't have to leave! I just... I just need a minute." He glanced back over his shoulder into his flat, then turned back to them, "I'll be right back." He left the door partially ajar, and Hermione heard the clinking of glass. He must be cleaning up the evidence of his night of over indulgence.  
  
He opened the door again and motioned for them to come in, "Just sit on the sofa, I'll be just a minute." He disappeared down the hall.  
  
They sat. Elaine was wide eyed and looking around her. Hermione glanced around too. There wasn't much to see. Sparse furniture, no personal effects that she could see save for the leather jacket and Auror robe hanging by the doorway. Sirius obviously didn't believe in warm and cozy. He reappeared a few minutes later in new clothes and looking much more fresh faced. He obviously had some pretty powerful potions in one of those back rooms to get rid of that hangover. He sat down in the armchair by the cold fireplace and smiled at them. Hermione didn't smile back, but Elaine beamed at him.   
  
"So, what brings you here?" He asked.  
  
"Mummy said we could come and visit you today," Elaine said. Hermione sighed at the girl's words. She didn't want Sirius to get the wrong idea.  
  
"I got your letter," she added quickly, "and I do appreciate you using the muggle post. I just hadn't thought about how I would respond with no owl. You said you lived in Diagon Alley, so I thought..." She trailed off, now thinking seeking him out had definitely been a stupid idea.   
  
"I see," he said in a tone that clearly said he didn't see at all.  
  
"Well, umm, I..." Hermione continued, feeling sillier by the second. "Maybe we should just go."  
  
"No!" Elaine exclaimed. "I want to spend time in Diagon Alley with Sirius again."  
  
Hermione hesitated, watching Sirius' face for a reaction. She received none, "Hon, I'm sure Sirius is busy. We'll walk around the Alley just the two of us."  
  
"I found some books for you, Elaine," Sirius suddenly interrupted. "I liked them when I was your age, so I thought you might enjoy them. Why don't you go take a look? They're on the kitchen counter."  
  
He bought books for her daughter? That was... unexpected. Elaine looked to Hermione for permission. She nodded, and Elaine scuttled off for the kitchen, visible around the corner from the living room.  
  
Sirius was watching her again intently, "Is this a response to my letter then? Should I take this to mean you no longer wish for me to leave you alone?"   
  
Hermione was uncomfortable with his scrutiny. She shrugged at his question, "I don't know. What did you mean that my answer would determine what you did next?"  
  
"I haven't told Harry about our meetings past the first couple, or about Elaine. I don't feel comfortable keeping it from him any longer. But if you want to be left alone and I never see you again, I can deal with him not knowing."  
  
"So, he still hasn't asked about me?" Hermione asked, annoyed at her old friend's indifference. Sirius shook his head. Hermione huffed. "Some hero he is," she said sarcastically.   
  
She was expecting him to jump to Harry's defense as he had in the past, but he didn't say anything. That surprised her.  
  
"I--I guess this is an answer to your letter. I just... I don't know. You've been there. And now that Elaine knows about this world and magic, I can't go back to the way we were living. But I... I don't want to do this alone. And I have no one else."  
  
Sirius didn't react to her words, so Hermione had no idea if he thought she was crazy, which she most likely was. She didn't even know this man, not really, and now she was turning to him for what? Guidance? Protection? Companionship, her mind provided.  
  
Elaine flounced back into the room carrying a stack of slim volumes, grinning. She dumped them on the coffee table in front of Sirius, "These are amazing! Thank you, Sirius!"   
  
Before Hermione could react, Elaine had leaned over and wrapped her arms around his neck. She couldn't see his face from the angle she was sitting, but after a moment, she saw him wrap one arm around Elaine's back and pat it. He was clearly quite uncomfortable with the girl's sudden affection.  
  
When Elaine joined her back on the sofa, uncomfortable silence descended again. She was about to try and make another exit attempt when he spoke, "I have a better idea for today. You've already seen Diagon Alley, so why don't we go see another wizarding town? Hogsmeade. And we can take a look at Hogwarts, from afar at least. If your mum is ok with it?"  
  
As if Hermione would be able to say no to the shining happiness in her daughter's face. She nodded, asking Sirius, "How will we get there?"  
  
Sirius stood and walked to the kitchen, coming back with a jar. He opened it and showed it to Elaine, "This is Floo powder. Have you ever seen anyone travel through the flames of a fireplace?"

* * *

As Sirius watched Elaine marvel at the majesty of the castle. She was so overcome with awe over Hogwarts that she was uncharacteristically silent as they walked along the path. They had enjoyed a nice morning walking the village, with lunch at the Three Broomsticks. Now, they were walking along the fence at Hogwarts, looking up at the castle.  
  
"I never expected to see this place again," Hermione said softly.  
  
Sirius had been trying to figure out what to think of Hermione all day.  Her confession to him that morning that she didn't want to be alone and she had no one else had sent him reeling. Was she really so isolated that she had to rely on him, a man she had barely spent a few hours with, for company? That was even worse than he had it with Harry, Remus, and Tonks.  
  
She had been friendly and almost chatty with him today. She had told him stories of Elaine growing up, her job as an editor, and even some of her experiences with reacquainting herself with magic. He had been more reserved, letting Hermione and Elaine direct the conversation. Between the two of them, all he had to do was interject here and there, and they did all the work for him.  
  
He had enjoyed himself though. And in a sick sort of way, it felt good to have someone actually need him, or at least want to be with him. He liked the idea of having someone look to him, not him pushing in where he wasn't needed or wanted.  
  
"Do you want to go up for a visit?" He asked, though he knew what her answer would be.  
  
She shook her head quickly. Elaine had wandered a little farther up the path, out of ear shot, "I'm not ready to see anyone else yet."  
  
After a few moments of silence, Sirius asked, "What about Harry, Hermione?"  
  
She sighed deeply, "I'll leave it up to you. If you don't feel comfortable keeping any of this from him, then you have my permission to tell him. About everything, if you feel the need. But I don't want to see him!"  
  
Sirius nodded, "Ok. I'll figure it out. I'm glad you came to me. I was beginning to wonder if you were going to just ignore my letter."  
  
"Would that have bothered you?" Hermione asked, sounding surprised.  
  
Sirius mulled over the question, "Yes, I think it would have."  
  
"You bought books for Elaine." Hermione said after a long silence, "You aren't at all like I remember, or like you seemed to be the first few times we saw each other."  
  
Sirius chuckled, "I'm guessing that is supposed to be a compliment?" Hermione's face flushed. Sirius sighed, still smiling, "I'm not the man I once was. That's probably a good thing, but the truth of it is I've never stopped to think about what would make me happy. But I don't know, being around you and Elaine..." He trailed off, watching Elaine’s blond curls blowing in the breeze as she trailed along the fence ahead.  
  
Sirius didn't know what he had been going to say, but Hermione didn't push him to continue. They had reached the castle gate, and Elaine joined them for the walk back to the village.   
  
Elaine, moving past her awe, started chattering again, this time about the new books Sirius had bought her. One was about a witch who could turn into an eagle and fly anywhere she wanted.   
  
"Isn't that so amazing?! I would love to be able to turn into an animal!" Elaine exclaimed, nearly skipping in her excitement.   
  
Sirius could feel Hermione's eyes on him. He turned to her and raised his eyebrows in question. She shrugged with a smile on her face, and gestured to Elaine. He smirked, then nodded. Her smile widened.  
  
"Elaine, stop a moment," Hermione said, beckoning for the girl to join her as she knelt down. "Would you like to see someone turn into an animal?"  
  
Elaine's eyes got huge, "People can really do that?"  
  
Hermione laughed, "Some can. It's very difficult magic, and most people can't manage it, but if you want to see, Sirius can show you. He's called an Animagus."  
  
"Oh, yes please!" Elaine said, gripping her hands in excitement.  
  
Sirius transfigured easily, becoming the big, shaggy black dog he had spent so much time as in years past. He shook out his fur and padded over to the little girl, allowing his tongue to loll out in the dog version of a grin.  
  
"That is so cool!" Elaine cried, holding her hand out for him to sniff. He licked it, making her giggle. She ran her hands over his head, feeling his fur. Hermione laughed at the look of pure joy on her daughter's face.   
  
Sirius bumped his nose against her hand. She smiled at him, running her hand over his head, "Hello Snuffles, it's been a long time."   
  
He transfigured back to his human form, kneeling is front of them both. Elaine hugged him again thanking him for showing her the "amazing animal magic" as she called it.  
  
When she had hugged him earlier, he had stiffened at the touch. This time, as she squeezed his neck with her arms, he smiled at the contact, wrapping his arms around her back. He saw Hermione looking at him over her shoulder, misty smile on her face at the scene. What the hell was going on with him? Taking leisurely afternoon strolls and hugging little girls? This wasn't him. But the problem was it was starting to feel right. And he didn't know what to do about that.


	10. Chapter 10

Hermione stared at the store front, completely paralyzed. The trio had spent time together on Saturday mornings for the last few weeks in Diagon Alley. So far, she had successfully avoided this store. But apparently not anymore. They had met at Sirius' flat, and then he had brought her here! Here of all places!   
  
The giant Ws in the sign made her cringe. She didn't want to see Ron!  
  
"I can't go in there Sirius! I can't see that man!" She hissed at him so Elaine couldn't hear.  
  
Sirius scowled, "As if I'd bring you to see that piece of sh--"  
  
"Sirius!" She exclaimed, gesturing to Elaine, who was looking up at them curiously.  
  
Sirius smirked at her rebuke, "I wouldn't bring you here to see him. He doesn't work here anymore. Fred and George fired him years ago."  
  
"They fired him?" Hermione asked, surprised. "Why?"  
  
"They found out he was a bast--" she smacked his arm. "Wasn't a good guy," he finished.  
  
Hermione couldn't help but feel happy about the news. She hadn't worried herself over her ex-fiancé’s fate, but it was gratifying to hear that not all the Weasleys had bought into his lies.  
  
"Can we go in, Mummy? This place looks fun," Elaine asked.   
  
Hermione sighed, looking back at Sirius. He shrugged, "You wanted to get back into the wizarding world. Fred and George are good men who won't pressure you or ask you too many questions. And I don't think they'll tell Ron or Harry."  
  
Hermione tried to push aside her fear, then nodded. Sirius held the door open for her and Elaine. They walked in and Hermione looked around. This place was insane. She had spent time here in the past of course, but she hadn't thought about it for so long. There were a number of customers milling about and a few workers standing behind various display counters.  
  
"Is that our favorite Marauder?" Called a voice from behind the checkout counter. Hermione looked over to see George smiling at Sirius, "It's been too long!"  
  
"And he's brought a lady friend," said Fred coming out from the back room, "Miracles do happen!"  
  
"Haha, guys, very funny," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "Why don't you take another look." He motioned toward Hermione.   
  
Each of the twins, looking remarkably similar to the way they had when she last saw them, looked at her closely. Suddenly, and at the exact same time, their eyes widened, and they yelled "Hermione!"  
  
"Hello, boys," she said, smiling slightly, feeling very uncomfortable. "This is my daughter, Elaine." She tugged the girl forward. "This is Fred and George, old friends of mine."  
  
As usual, Elaine's natural social ways prevailed, and she immediately began talking to the twins about their store and different products. They were happy to humor her, showing her different items and what they did. Elaine was delighted.   
  
Hermione walked over to Sirius, who was leaning against one of the display counters. "Elaine is certainly entertained by this place," she commented.  
  
"Most kids are," he replied. "I know the Hogwart's crowd are their biggest customers. Teddy Lupin loves everything from here. It's always a good bet for buying him a present."  
  
Hermione smiled, thinking about the boy, "I haven't seen Teddy since he was younger than Elaine. How is he?"  
  
"Great. He's a third year Hufflepuff. He made Chaser on the Quidditch team this year."  
  
"So Hermione," Fred said, coming up to the pair, as George showed Elaine something. "Long time. How have you been?"  
  
Hermione smiled at him, "I've been good. Busy with Elaine."  
  
"She seems like quite the social butterfly," Fred said, looking over at the girl.   
  
Hermione laughed, "She certainly isn't shy!"  
  
Fred met her eyes, expression serious, something that looked entirely foreign on his face, "About Ron..."  
  
"Please Fred, I don't want to talk about Ron. What happened in the past is over, and I'd rather not rehash it."  
  
He studied her for a moment, then nodded, "Whatever you say." Just then, Elaine came running over to show Hermione and Sirius what she wanted to buy.   
  
Fred and George chatted with them for awhile as they paid for the goods, and then they invited Hermione and Elaine to come back anytime.  
  
As they made their way to Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour for a treat, Hermione's heart felt lighter somehow. She had been worried every time she came to the Alley that she would run into someone else from her past. But seeing Fred and George that way had made her feel more at ease. She had Sirius to thank for that.  
  
After they settled in at a table with their ice cream, Hermione decided to let him know how grateful she was, "Thank you, Sirius, for taking me there this morning. And, well... for everything really." She smiled at him.  
  
He looked surprised by her thanks, "I haven't really done anything," he said, avoiding her eyes, clearly uncomfortable with her gratitude.  
  
"Well, I would probably still be hiding in the muggle world if it weren't for you. In fact, I know I would be. So, there's that."  
  
Sirius shrugged, "If you say so. I'm glad I'm useful to someone."  
  
"Of course you are, why would you say that?"

Sirius looked down at his ice cream, not meeting her eyes, "Nevermind, ignore me. How's your ice cream Elaine?"  
  
Hermione wondered at his comment. Why would he think he wasn't useful? He had spent hours with her and Elaine, keeping them company and helping Hermione feel more comfortable with this world again. She knew it probably wasn't at the top of his list of things to do. He still got on her nerves sometimes, but overall, he'd been friendly, though not effusive, and Elaine adored him.   
  
That worried her. It wasn't surprising that Elaine had become so attached. She had never had a male influence in her life, and Hermione could see Elaine looking to him as almost a father figure, even though it had only been just over a month since they had started spending time with him. But he had no real tie to them. He could leave at any time and leave her daughter broken hearted.  
  
Maybe she should talk to him about it? But when? She only ever saw him with Elaine in tow. She would just have to figure it out. Figure him out. This man insisted on confusing her.

* * *

She had invited him to dinner at their flat. He hadn't been expecting that. She had told him that she wanted him to accompany her into her transition back to the wizarding world. But dinner at her entirely muggle flat didn't really fit that description.  
  
He felt nervous, which annoyed him. He had no reason to be nervous! They were just acquaintances. He had spent time with them, yes, but it wasn't like they were close. Not really.  
  
Except that they were close. Friends even, though they had never really named it. And he had grown to really care about Elaine.  
  
He could feel himself shaking off his reclusive ways for them. He hadn't voluntarily spent so much time out in public, that wasn't work related, in years. It actually felt good, being somewhat social again. He didn't feel so alone.  
  
But what if Hermione decided she didn't need him anymore? That she could do it on her own. He didn't want to lose them.   
  
Maybe he should talk to her? Let her know how he felt? No, that sounded like a stupid idea.  
  
He found himself standing outside the door to their flat, holding a bottle of wine that Hermione had mentioned she favored and a bottle of pumpkin juice that Elaine loved, feeling incredibly foolish.  
  
When he handed Hermione the wine, she had beamed at him and praised him for remembering, which had swept his awkward feelings away. Elaine has hugged him and thanked him for the pumpkin juice, which warmed him up inside. No, he definitely didn't want to lose these feelings they invoked in him.  
  
Hermione had cooked a simple but tasty meal that he had enjoyed, especially when compared to Tonks' attempts. When he told her so, she had laughed and said that she remembered having a few of Tonks' meals in the past and could commiserate.   
  
Elaine wanted to show Sirius her bedroom after dinner, so he spent some time oohing and aahing over her various toys and books. She seemed pleased by his response.   
  
She then asked to play a game, and they spent the next couple hours attempting to teach him several muggle games that he did not seem able to learn. But Elaine's giggles and Hermione's gentle encouragement made his incompetence less painful to bear.   
  
When Elaine started yawning, he tried to make an exit, but Hermione insisted he stay seated on the sofa as she helped Elaine get ready for bed. He then received a kiss on the cheek in good night from the pajama clad girl, and when Hermione returned from tucking her in, she offered him a drink, which he declined, and she sat down on the sofa next to him.  
  
"I, umm, I wanted to talk to you about something, without Elaine here," she said after a long silence. His stomach dropped, dreading whatever topic she felt was serious enough to have without Elaine's ears nearby to overhear.  
  
He nodded for her to continue, and she fidgeted with the bottom of her cardigan as she seemed to consider her words, "We've been spending a lot of time together over the last couple months, and I just hope... I hope I didn't force you into anything. I'm sure Elaine and my company isn't exactly ideal, but I'd hate to think that I cornered you or something."  
  
"I wouldn't be here if I didn't enjoy your company. Both of you." He said quietly, watching her face for a reaction. Her face seemed to brighten slightly, then dimmed again.  
  
"It's just that you have no real tie to us. And I've allowed you to get close. Far closer than I originally planned. And I'm worried about Elaine. She would be devastated if you decided that spending time with us wasn't a priority for you. And I just can't let that happen to her."  
  
Sirius studied her face, realizing her fears reflected his own fears of losing them. When had this gotten so complicated?  
  
"I'm not going anywhere, Hermione. I care about Elaine. She's a great kid, and I wouldn't willing choose spending time doing anything else than hanging out with her. With you." He felt his checks warm at the completely foreign heartfelt words.   
  
Hermione considered his words, then asked, "Are you sure? Because if you aren't, I think it would be better if we parted ways now."  
  
"I'm sure!" He said, too loudly. He lowered his voice, "I'm not going to change my mind."  
  
"Ok," she said slowly, then smiled, "Although I can't imagine such a good-looking guy like you will want a single mom and her young daughter cramping your style forever.

His eyebrows shot up, eyes wide. Her face froze, her cheeks flaring red. She closed her eyes, seemingly in embarrassment. Did she just try to flirt with him? A smirk formed on his lips, and he very nearly laughed at the expression on her face.

"I guess it's good to know what you really think about me. It's always nice to be appreciated," he said, then he did laugh at her rude gesture.

He decided he didn't have anything to worry about. He wasn't going to lose them any time soon.


	11. Chapter 11

She could not believe she had just said that! It had come out of her mouth before her brain caught up, and based on his expression, he had been surprised. But he had made a joke about it, diffusing her embarrassment.   
  
She did not want to think about why she had said it. That was far too confusing of a territory for her, which she currently did not want to navigate.   
  
She desperately wanted to change the subject, so she asked, "What has Harry said about us spending time together?"  
  
She had purposely avoided asking about Harry, and he hadn't volunteered any information since the day in Hogsmeade that she had given Sirius permission to tell him about her.  
  
His smile suddenly disappeared, and he shook his head, "I haven't told him."  
  
She was surprised. She had just assumed that he had kept Harry in the loop after their conversation. "Why haven't you told him? I thought you said you were uncomfortable keeping this from him."  
  
Now it was Sirius' turn to fidget. He kept his eyes on his hand as it fiddled with the fringe of the throw blanket resting near his leg. "Harry and I haven't been very close lately. And honestly, we haven't been all that close for years. I just didn't see it before. He's my godson, and I love him, but I tried to make up for lost time by forcing my way into his life. But he didn't need me anymore. I missed the years that he needed me, and that opportunity is never coming back. And it doesn't help that his harpy wife hates me. I barely know his kids because of that."  
  
Much to Hermione's chagrin she felt tears gathering in her eyes at the sadness in Sirius' voice. She quickly blinked them away. She didn't think he would appreciate seeing that.  
  
He continued, "The only reason I went back to being an Auror was to protect him. Keep him close, watch his back. But we're partners, nothing more, not really. We may have been friends, but he is far too deferential to Ginny, and she doesn't approve of us spending time together outside of work."  
  
"Oh Sirius, I'm so sorry. The way you talked about him at the beginning, I assumed you were very close."  
  
"I thought we were at the time. But somehow, spending time with you..." He trailed off, suddenly looking quite uncomfortable.  
  
Hermione studied his face. He was still looking down, and she could only see him in profile. "Sirius?"  
  
He looked up at the then, smiling faintly, though it didn't reach his eyes, "Anyway, I no longer feel like I have to tell Harry."  
  
"Does anyone... know?"  
  
Sirius nodded, "Moony and Tonks. They're really the only ones..." he trailed off and dropped his eyes again.  
  
‘He is so alone,’ she thought, ‘just like me.’  
  
‘Not anymore,’ she told herself. She smiled as she reached out and patted his arm, "I'm glad we ran into each other. I wasn't at the time, but I... I guess I'm just happy that Elaine and I aren't so alone anymore." He looked up again and smiled back at her. 

* * *

Hermione's worry eased after their conversation. She no longer thought it likely that Sirius was going to up and leave them one day, and she believed him when he said that he wanted to spend time with them. Though she did feel like Elaine ranked higher in his estimation, but that was fine with her.   
  
They continued on their weekly Saturday outings, though they started to expand from just their typical Diagon Alley trips.   
  
Elaine had lost that newly born wonder of all things magic, and she wanted to start showing Sirius some of her favorite muggle places.   
  
Sirius, while far more comfortable in the muggle world than the average pureblood, still had some trouble adjusting during some of their outings, much to Elaine and Hermione's delight.  
  
Hermione's favorite experience was taking him the Science Museum. Going into the day, it was clear that Sirius fully expected to hate the museum, though he didn't say so in the face of Elaine's enthusiasm. But from almost the moment they entered, he had been fascinated.  
  
Though he had been friendly with Hermione, and he did show kindness, especially to Elaine, he was not the type of man to show extreme emotion (except for anger, though Hermione found he was displaying less and less of lately). He was not talkative, usually allowing Hermione and Elaine to guide their conversations.  
  
But at the museum, he'd been quite animated. Elaine had dragged him around to all her favorite exhibits, and he had asked a continuous stream of questions.  
  
Hermione had found it quite... endearing. And she didn't know what to make of that.  
  
He had also asked them to come to his flat for dinner, which they had done, gladly. He hadn't attempted to cook thankfully. Hermione suspected he lived off take away and alcohol, so he ordered in from the Leaky Cauldron.   
  
They had enjoyed a nice evening in his sparse flat, talking and making plans for the upcoming Christmas season. Elaine insisted they go the following Saturday to pick out a Christmas tree to liven the place up a bit. Sirius had grumbled at that, but Hermione suspected he was pleased at the idea since he didn’t put up too much of an argument.

When they left, Hermione and Elaine walked hand in hand back to the Leaky Cauldron to get to muggle London, the girl said, “Maybe was can spend Christmas with Sirius this year. Like a real family."  
  
That comment brought Hermione up short. Is that what Elaine thought of this relationship with Sirius? She knew Elaine saw Sirius as a sort of stand in father figure, but she hadn't really considered how the girl viewed the three of them together.   
  
Hermione was suddenly very much aware that they may have gotten in too deep with Sirius.

* * *

Sirius was trying desperately not to growl. Lyons was on him again about something or other, jabbering about an infraction he had committed, real or imagined, Sirius didn't care. He glared at his boss, but stayed silent.  
  
When he made no response, Lyons had sighed dramatically and stomped away, muttering to himself about "idiot arseholes." Sirius grinned at that. It was good to know he hadn't lost his touch to rile people up, even while staying silent. He had been worried that spending so much time with Hermione and Elaine was making him go soft.  
  
He was looking forward to the weekend, something that had become common place these last few months. He had dinner this evening with the Lupins, then Christmas tree shopping with the girls tomorrow. And all he had to do was make it through the next half hour and he was out of there.   
  
He had long since been calling Hermione and Elaine "the girls" in his mind. Truth be told, he had even referred to them as "his girls," which made him uncomfortable, even though he had never even said it aloud.   
  
He went back to filling out the paperwork he had been working on before Lyons had walked up. Out the corner of his eye, he saw Harry stop by his cubicle, leaning against the side. Sirius looked up at him.  
  
"Lyons on you again?" Harry asked, smirking. Sirius shrugged.  
  
"I'm his favorite punching bag. Did you need something? I'm trying to finish this paperwork from the O'Toole case before I take off for the weekend."   
  
Harry nodded, "I was supposed to tell you it's Albus' birthday party tomorrow. 11 am for luncheon at the house."  
  
Sirius raised his eyebrows at that. He rarely had any contact with Harry's kids, and he had never been to one of their birthday parties. Those were reserved for close family and friends, of which Ginny Potter considered him neither.  
  
From the look on Harry's face, he clearly expected Sirius to be thrilled at the invite. He must have stood up to Ginny on this and was proud of himself for garnering Sirius an invitation.  
  
"Can't come. I already have plans," Sirius said, turning back to his paperwork in clear dismissal. When Harry didn't walk away, he looked back over at him. He stood there gaping.  
  
"Y--you already have plans?" Harry exclaimed, voice shocked.   
  
"Yes, plans. If you really wanted me to come, you should have told me about it before now." Sirius snapped, starting to get annoyed.  
  
"I never expected..." he trailed off, suddenly seeming to realize his complete shock over Sirius' apparent social life may be insulting.  
  
Sirius glowered at him, "I don't need to rely on your pity invite to have weekend plans, Harry."   
  
"I know, I just always thought... I don't know, that you were a bit of a recluse, I guess."  
  
Sirius could feel the anger starting to bubble under the surface. Maybe he should have confronted Harry months ago, instead of letting his anger stew for so long. He could practically feel the steam leaking out around the edges. He took a deep breathe, trying to calm himself   
  
"And how, exactly, would you know anything about my life outside of work? When was the last time we spent any personal time together? Did you expect I was just sitting around on my arse, waiting for you to come calling?" Sirius said, voice low and gruff. No need to admit that before Hermione, that was exactly how he spent his weekends. How pathetic he had been.  
  
"No! You just never let on. I didn't know you had--"  
  
Sirius cut him off, standing up to face him, "Never knew I actually had friends? As if you know anything about the subject!"  
  
Harry spluttered for a second, before exclaiming "What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"  
  
Sirius was gritting his teeth, panting. This had been a stupid idea to get into this argument with Harry here, in the middle of a public office space at the Ministry. He could see the eyes peeking out from behind the other cubicles, goggling at the sight of the partners having a shouting match. He grabbed his wand of his desk and cast a Muffliato charm to keep their words hidden from the prying ears.  
  
"Hermione," he ground out, waiting to see what Harry would do.   
  
"Is that what this is all about?! You've been acting weird ever since you ran into her!" Harry spat. "You told me that you weren't angry with me over what happened! Were you lying?"  
  
Sirius shook his head, "I wasn't lying, I'm not angry about what happened eight years ago! I'm angry about what going on right now!"  
  
"And what's going on right now?" Harry asked, but then his angry face cleared, and Sirius could see the moment it clicked in his head. "Hermione. Your plans tomorrow are with Hermione."  
  
Sirius nodded curtly. "We've been spending time together. For months!"  
  
"Why didn't you tell me?" Harry yelled, suddenly angry again.   
  
"Why didn't you ask me?" Sirius yelled. Then, he deflated, feeling exhausted by the argument. "You knew I had found her. I was waiting for you to ask," he said softly.  
  
Harry's anger seemed to fizzle out again, "I--I don't know what to say."  
  
"Don't say anything," Sirius replied, "I think it best that we drop the subject. Tell Albus happy birthday for me, yeah? I'll owl him a present."  
  
Harry looked like he was going to keep going, but after a moment he nodded. Sirius sat back down to his paperwork after Harry walked away, but his mind wasn't in it. He sat for the last 15 minutes of work staring into space.


	12. Chapter 12

Hermione could immediately tell something was wrong. Sirius hadn't greeted them with his usual warmth, and he had been off all morning. Elaine hadn't seemed to notice, but it was obvious to Hermione.  
  
She wanted to ask him what was wrong, but didn't want to put him on the spot in front if Elaine. She hoped to have a chance to speak to him in private once they got back to his flat to set-up and decorate the tree.  
  
After they had picked out a tree and some decorations, they headed back to his flat. After much contemplating, Elaine had decided the tree would look best in the corner of the living room between the fireplace and the window looking out over the Alley. They had spent hours decorating, listening to carols in the wizarding wireless, and Sirius had made hot chocolate from scratch, much to Hermione's surprise.  
  
While he had play-acted well, he didn't fool Hermione. So, when Elaine fell asleep on the couch in the late afternoon, she followed him into the kitchen as he washed the mugs from the hot chocolate.  
  
"What's the matter Sirius?" She asked softly so she wouldn't disturb the sleeping girl.  
  
Sirius looked surprised. He must have thought he had fooled her, "I, umm, I had it out with Harry yesterday."  
  
Hermione felt her lips form an 'o' in surprise. "I take it that didn't go well?"  
  
"We had a shouting match in the middle of the Ministry."  
  
"About me?" Hermione asked, horrified to be the catalyst for such an exchange.  
  
Sirius shrugged, "Not entirely about you, but you were part of it. He informed me that his kid's birthday party was this morning and I was invited. Acted like I should be thrilled that they deigned to invite me, then got all bent out of shape when I said I had plans. Tempers flared, and then we got into it about you. He knows we've been spending time together and why I've been angry with him."  
  
"What did he say?" Hermione asked, not really sure she wanted to know the answer.  
  
"Nothing! In fact, he said 'I don't know what to say.' So, I told him to say nothing."  
  
"I'm sorry," she said.  
  
"Don't be sorry. None of this is your fault. Maybe I should have just told him before. At the very least we could have avoided a scene. I just... I don't know what I'm going to do now."  
  
"What do you mean?" questioned Hermione.  
  
Sirius leaned against the counter, not answering at first. She waited him out, leaning against the counter across from him.  
  
"I've always hated my job. But I did it for Harry. To protect him. But we haven't been the best partners lately. The level of trust we used to have isn't there anymore. I don't know, maybe it never was.  
  
Lately, my head and my heart haven't been in it. And it's not the kind of job you should be doing half-hearted. I need to be there one hundred percent, and I haven't been."  
  
"But you're afraid? Afraid of what the future looks like without your job? Maybe even without Harry?" Hermione queried when he didn't continue.  
  
Sirius jerked his eyes up to hers, startled. He finally nodded, looking pained. She felt for him. She had gone through the same fear and anxiety while facing a return to the wizarding world and losing the life she had known. But he had helped her through it. And she wanted to do the same for him.  
  
"Whatever you decide, you are not alone," she said, throat suddenly tight with emotion.  
  
Sirius quirked his lips into a small smile and nodded again. Just then, Elaine wandered into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes. "What's for dinner?" She asked, making Sirius chuckle. Hermione was so happy to hear the sound, she grinned and ruffled the girl's hair.  
  
Yes, she would do what she could for this man.

* * *

Sirius had been a dreading Monday for a multitude of reasons. He had spent the rest of the weekend thinking about what to do, and he had decided it was time to leave his job as an Auror.  
  
Not only did he hate the job, but Harry didn't need him. And since Harry was the only reason he had taken the job in the first place, it seemed foolish to continue on.  
  
He was planning on telling Harry he was leaving on Monday, and he was also dreading the aftermath of his argument with him on Friday.  
  
He didn't know what the future would bring. He wasn't at all looking forward to finding another job, but he felt like nothing could be worse than the position he was in now.  
  
And he believed Hermione when she said she would be there for him, and so would Moony and Tonks he knew. He wouldn't be completely alone, even if he lost Harry. It was a small comfort, but he clung to it.  
  
When he reached his cubicle Monday morning, he didn't see Harry in his. He sat down, determined to have it out when he came back.  
  
But Harry didn't come back to his cubicle until after lunch. Sirius had no idea what he could possibly have been doing, but was obviously avoiding the confrontation he must know was coming.  
  
When Harry sat down, Sirius marched over and asked him to talk. Learning his lesson from the last spectacle they had caused, he lead Harry to an empty conference room.  
  
Harry looked at him with sad eyes but didn't say anything when Sirius closed the door.  
  
Backpedaling from his purpose in the actual face of his godson, Sirius asked "Did Albus get my present?"  
  
Harry nodded, "Yes, he loved it, though Ginny was unimpressed."  
  
Sirius smirked, happy that his gift had given the intended reactions.  
  
He cleared his throat, "Harry, I've spent a lot of time thinking this weekend, and I've decided... I'm quitting being an Auror."  
  
Harry stared at him, looking dumbfounded. Then he burst out, "So, that's it! You're abandoning me because of this mess with Hermione?! You're choosing her over me?!"  
  
Sirius was shaking his head before Harry had stopped talking, "This isn't about Hermione, not really. This is about you and me."  
  
Harry suddenly looked to be on the verge of tears, "So you're abandoning me on my own merits," he stated.  
  
"I'm not abandoning you Harry!" Sirius cried, frustrated. "You'll just be assigned another partner. And I will always be there for you personally if you need me. You're my godson, and I love you. But I'm done pushing my way in where I'm not wanted. From this point forward, you have to come to me. I can't keep doing this anymore."  
  
Before Harry had a chance to reply, Lyons ripped the door open "Potter, Black! There you two are! There's been a reliable tip about the whereabouts of the suspect in the Boardman case. I need you two to check it out."  
  
Sirius looked at Harry, who had a determined look in his eye. "Fine, we're on our way," he said brushing past Sirius. He could do nothing but follow.

* * *

Sirius' mind was spinning, thoughts everywhere but where they needed to be, which was entering the abandoned warehouse in muggle London after a suspect in a violent home invasion. He felt muddled, and knew he was not being as careful as he needed to be.  
  
Harry was somewhere behind him, looking down abandoned hallways. Entering a large room at the end of the hall, Sirius heard a shout from somewhere above him, then before he could react, he felt pain running down across his chest. He looked down, brain recognizing in a detached sort of way that he was bleeding. And there was a lot of blood.

As he fell to his knees, he heard Harry's panicked voice shouting his name behind him. As he closed his eyes, honey brown curls and electric blue eyes flashed behind his lids, then he knew no more.


	13. Chapter 13

Hermione had just closed the refrigerator after prepping both her and Elaine's lunch for the next day. She was about to turn the light off and head to bed, but then she heard a knock at the door. She glanced at the clock. It was after 10 pm, who would be knocking uninvited at this hour?  
  
She looked through the peephole, and gasped at what she saw. She ripped the door open, goggling at the man standing there.  
  
"Hello, Hermione." Remus said. He looked haggard, like he usually did when the full moon was near.  
  
Hermione felt a tight knot of fear settle in her stomach. Something must be wrong. Sirius wouldn't have sent Remus if something wasn't wrong, "Remus! What's happened?" She questioned, fear evident in her tone.   
  
"Can I come in?" He asked. She nodded, pulling open the door to allow him to walk past.  
  
"What's happened to Sirius?" She questioned again when she closed the door.   
  
Remus sighed turning toward her. "He was injured this afternoon. He was out on a case and was hit by a pretty nasty curse. Things don't... things don't look good."  
  
Hermione gasped, bringing her hands to her mouth, tears springing into her eyes.  
  
"I know that you two have become close, so I thought you should know. Sirius told me where you lived a couple months back. Just in case..." he trailed off. He looked like he wanted to comfort her, but didn't want to overstep.  
  
Hermione nodded, glad that Sirius had the foresight to let someone else know. The idea that he could have been injured and she would have gone about her whole week and not known anything about it suddenly had her gasping for air. "Can I go? To see him?"  
  
"Yes. He's unconscious, but you can still go visit. St. Mungo's has round the clock visiting hours."  
  
Hermione spun around, intent on getting out the door, then she remembered Elaine asleep in her bed. "My daughter is asleep. I can't go tonight."  
  
"I can stay with Elaine," Remus offered, then backpedaled when she turned her surprised eyes on him, "I mean... I know we haven't seen each other in years, so leaving your daughter in my care may not be ok with you, but I can stay. If you want," he finished lamely.  
  
Hermione smiled, remembering how self-conscious Remus tended to be. She impulsively moved forward to embrace him. He stiffened at first, but then hugged her back, "Thank you, Remus," she said sincerely.   
  
She moved toward the door again, grabbing her coat. "Elaine probably won't wake up, but if she does, just tell her you're a friend of Sirius'. She'll adore you just for that."

* * *

She was directed to Sirius' room by the welcome witch, and as she made her way through the almost deserted halls, she was fighting back tears.   
  
She had worried about Sirius leaving them one day, but she never had thought about losing him like this. She supposed that had been stupid of her, of course this had always been a risk with his job! Why hadn't she considered it before?  
  
She paused in front of his door, taking a deep breath, trying to calm her nerves. She eased the door open, and as soon as she saw him, she burst into tears.  
  
Though she hated to see him like that, she was suddenly relieved he wasn't awake to see her sniveling. She didn't think he would handle her crying very well.   
  
She approached the bed, studying him. He was in a standard issue hospital gown, dark hair spread out over the stark white pillow. He looked peaceful, like he was just sleeping, though she knew from Remus that he was in fact unconscious, which was a whole other level of worry for her. What if he never woke up?   
  
She perched on the edge of the chair near his bed, clutching her purse in her lap. She wiped the tears from her cheeks then leaned forward, taking his hand.   
  
"Sirius," she whispered, choking on the name. "Please Sirius, I... I need you to wake up, to get better. I don't know what I'd do without you. Please wake up." She squeezed his hand, hoping for a response, but getting none.   
  
She sat by his side for a long time, holding his hand. When she next glanced at her watch, it was after midnight, and she decided it was time to go relieve Remus. She squeezed Sirius' hand again, "I'll come see you again soon. I hope you'll be awake to greet me this time."  
  
She stood, hesitating for a moment before reaching down and kissing his forehead, smoothing his hair down.   
  
She would come back after work, whether he was awake or not. 

* * *

Sirius felt like his head was about to explode. His chest was on fire, and he was struggling to open his eyes. They felt glued shut, and no matter how hard he tried, they wouldn't come open.  
  
He groaned, noticing then that his mouth was very dry. As his brain started to wake up, he heard his name being called, sounding very far away.   
  
He heard more voices, then felt someone touch his arm and head. His brain had finally regained enough control for him to finally get his eyes pried open. The first thing he saw was a healer, which he recognized by the standard St. Mungo's lime green healer robes. His eyes then flicked over to the right, where he saw Remus hovering next to his bed nervously. When Remus saw him looking, he grinned and grabbed his hand.  
  
"Padfoot! Thank Merlin you're awake!" Sirius was trying hard to make sense of the words. His eyes flicked over to the healer, who had come to stand to his left.  
  
"How are you feeling Auror Black?" the healer questioned. Sirius opened his mouth to reply, but he could make no sound come out. The healer conjured a glass of water and helped Sirius take a few sips.  
  
"Like shit," he croaked out, barely above a whisper.  
  
The healer nodded, "That's to be expected. You were hit with a pretty nasty curse. Do you remember?"  
  
Sirius nodded. He managed to croak out, "Harry?"  
  
"Harry's fine," Remus responded, squeezing his hand, "The guy took off after cursing you. Harry wasn't injured."  
  
Sirius nodded, glad to hear the news.  
  
"Now that you're awake, it'll just be a matter of rest and recovery. The particular curse used on you is quite dangerous, but the real danger has already passed for you. But recovery will not be easy, and you're likely to be in quite a bit of pain for some time still. We can provide you pain potion, but we must be careful because it is highly addictive," the healer told him.  
  
Before leaving, he told Remus to allow Sirius to sleep, which was the best thing for healing he could do.   
  
When the door closed behind him, Remus sat in the chair next to the bed. "I thought I was going to lose you, Sirius," he said softly.  
  
"How long was I out?" Sirius asked, voice still scratchy, but less rough.  
  
"Four days. They said the curse could be fatal, but that was at the beginning, and that if you made it through the first two days, you wouldn't die from it. But when you didn't wake up, we all thought the worst."  
  
Sirius tried to sit up in bed, but white hot fire burned across his chest, making his gasp then pant for air. Remus leaned forward, concerned.  
  
"It's fine," Sirius said, teeth gritted. "Sitting up is a bad idea."  
  
After he settled back against the pillow, the pain eased, though it still burned. He let out a sigh of relief.   
  
"Better?" Remus asked. Sirius nodded, closing his eyes. "Everyone is going to be so happy you're awake. I already sent a patronus to Tonks and Harry. They'll be along this evening. And Hermione should be here within the hour."

Sirius' brain still wasn't working properly, and he struggled to make sense of what Remus had said. "Hermione?"  
  
"Yes, she has been here to see you every day. She comes straight from work and visits for a time. She's been quite worried for you."  
  
Sirius couldn't help the smile that came to his lips at the news. It was nice to know she cared enough for him to visit and be worried for him.  
  
"And Harry? How has he been handling it?" Sirius asked, eyes drifting closed again.  
  
"Not... well. I think you two will have a lot to talk about when you're better. Sleep now, Padfoot."   
  
"Wake me when Hermione comes," Sirius mumbled, barely coherent. He didn't hear Remus' reply as sleep took him.


	14. Chapter 14

When Hermione reached Sirius' room, Remus met her in the hall, a big grin on his face. As he hugged her, Hermione couldn't help but smile back, "Is he awake?"  
  
Remus nodded, "Well, he's sleeping now, but it's a natural sleep. He woke about an hour ago."  
  
"How is he?" Hermione asked, feeling the happiness at the news bubbling in her.  
  
"Still in a lot of pain, but he was acting like himself when he talked to me."  
  
Hermione laughed at Remus' words, "That's amazing! I'm so relieved!"  
  
"He told me to wake him when you got here. Shall we?" Remus gestured in the room, and Hermione nodded eagerly, entering the room.   
  
Sirius looked the same as yesterday, but knowing that he was only sleeping and not unconscious made a world of difference. Hermione felt lighter than she had in days.  
  
Remus walked over to Sirius and gently touched his shoulder, "Sirius, wake up. Hermione is here."  
  
It took several tries before Sirius started to stir. He groaned and screwed his eyes shut tight before they fluttered open. After gaining his bearings, his eyes fell on Hermione and he smiled.   
  
Hermione felt tears gathering in her eyes, and she tried to blink them away. But when he reached his hand out to her, she couldn't help the choked sob that left her throat as she rushed forward.  
  
"Oh Sirius! I've been so worried!" She said, grabbing his hand. She felt a thrill when he squeezed it tightly.  
  
"I'm sorry to worry you," he said, voice sounding very gravelly.  
  
Hermione gave him a watery smile, "Don't be sorry, I'm just so glad you're awake!"  
  
Hermione heard Remus slip out of the room to give them privacy. Hermione kept her eyes locked with Sirius', which seemed rather droopy. Without thinking, she reached out her hand and smoothed his hair back. He let out a hum of appreciation and closed his eyes.   
  
She smiled and did it again, and received the same response. She was quite sure that if he had been fully awake, he would not have reacted that way.   
  
"Elaine?" He questioned, eyes still closed.  
  
"She doesn't know you're in the hospital. I didn't want her to worry." She told him.   
  
His eyes fluttered open, and he looked at her, "Tomorrow is Saturday, yeah?" She nodded. "Could you bring her round? I... I think it would do me some good to see her. Unless you don't want her to see me like this?"

Hermione hesitated, "I... don't want her to be scared. But she'll wonder where you are if we don't see you tomorrow. So, yeah, we can come by in the morning. Just for a little while."  
  
He smiled and closed his eyes again.   
  
After a few moments, it was clear that he had fallen back to sleep. She smoothed his hair back one last time then quietly made her way out of the room.   
  
She said goodbye to Remus in the hallway, telling him she would be bringing Elaine with her in the morning.  
  
She was halfway down the hall when someone turned the corner at the other end. Hermione stopped dead. So did the other person. "Hermione?"  
  
"Hello, Harry," Hermione replied. She had known this could happen when visiting Sirius, but she had avoided it so far. Apparently, her luck had run out.  
  
"I didn't know you were visiting Sirius," Harry said, walking slowly down the hall to stand in front of her.  
  
"Yes, well, Sirius and I have become friends. I was worried about him." Hermione's voice sounded snippy in her own ears, even though she was aiming for calm and collected.  
  
"Remus said he was awake?" Harry asked, apparently deciding to ignore her tone.  
  
Hermione nodded, "Harry, what happened? I know he was injured..." She trailed off. Harry's face was pained, and he looked away.  
  
"We had an argument, then went out for a case. His head wasn't in it. I should have been watching his back more closely. Or insisted we didn't go out."  
  
Hermione didn't say anything. She watched as Harry became more and more uncomfortable with her stare. Then she said, "I'll let you have your visit."   
  
She moved around him down the hall. When she heard his voice again, she stopped, but didn't turn around.  
  
"Hermione, I'm sorry. For everything. I know it's too little far too late, and you have every right to hate me and never want to see me again. But please...please, I can't lose Sirius. Please don't take him away from me."  
  
Hermione spun around, suddenly angry, "I haven't done anything Harry! If you lose Sirius, it'll be because of you, not me. If I were you, I'd take a good hard look at how you've treated the people you claim to care about. How you've treated him."   
  
She turned again and stomped down the hallway, anger seething. He didn't stop her again.

* * *

When Sirius woke next, Harry was beside him. Once he was able to focus on his face, he saw the tears on his cheeks and the pain in his eyes.   
  
No matter how upset he was or how annoyed he became with Harry, he loved him and didn't want to see him in pain. He reached his hand out and Harry immediately grabbed it and squeezed.  
  
"I'm so sorry!" Harry cried, "I been so horrible lately. Hell, I've been horrible for years without even realizing it. I've taken you for granted, and it took almost losing you to realize it. Please forgive me!"  
  
By the end, Harry was practically begging, grasping Sirius' hand in both of his.  
  
Sirius studied him, "I forgive you, Harry. And I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have relied so heavily on you. You didn't deserve to have me latching on to you when I came back."  
  
Harry was shaking his head before Sirius had finished, "No, I should have been more understanding. I should have made more of an effort to help you adjust when you came back!"  
  
Sirius smiled, "I think we could be here all day arguing who is at fault. Let's just agree that we both feel guilty, and that we both forgive each other?"  
  
Harry nodded, looking relieved. "I--I ran into Hermione in the hallway."  
  
Sirius groaned and closed his eyes, "I'm sure that went well."  
  
"After all these years, I would have expected it to go worse. I apologized, and she had some choice words for me. She's very protective of you, you know."  
  
Sirius smiled. The thought of Hermione standing up to Harry for him warmed his heart, "We've become friends."  
  
"She told me. I'm glad. Glad you had each other when neither of you could count on me."  
  
Sirius open his eyes again to look at Harry. "Hermione may never forgive you, but it's not too late for us. But I'm still leaving the job, Harry. I just can't do it anymore. If I didn't know it before, this would have been a real wake up call for me."  
  
"I know. And I know I need to make some changes, personally. I’m going to be better and make more of an effort. And I'm going to talk to Ginny. I know she's always been a stumbling block in our relationship."  
  
Sirius chuckled, "We certainly aren't each other's favorite person. But I hope that deep down she knows I'm not going to hurt you or your family."  
  
"I'm sure she knows. Deep, deep down." They both laughed at Harry's words.  
  
"Hermione has a daughter," Sirius blurted out randomly, suddenly feeling guilty for keeping it from Harry, "Elaine. She's six and completely amazing. And she likes me."  
  
Harry looked shocked, but smiled, "I can see Hermione as a mother. She's probably brilliant."  
  
"She is. They've really... changed me. For the better, I think. Merlin, that sounds sappy," Sirius chuckled at his pain induced honesty.  
  
"Where's her father?" Harry asked.  
  
Sirius thought back. Had Hermione ever mentioned Elaine's father? He didn't think so. Why had he never asked? Maybe he just didn't want to hear the answer.  
  
"Dunno. I never asked. He's not in the picture whoever he is."  
  
Sirius could feel his eyelids drooping. He was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. He couldn't stay awake much longer.  
  
"I'll leave you to rest. I'll be by again tomorrow," Harry said squeezing his hand.  
  
"Tomorrow afternoon. Hermione is bringing Elaine in the morning. I think it would be best..." Sirius trailed off.  
  
"I understand," Harry said, "Sleep now."


	15. Chapter 15

Elaine had been unusually quiet this morning since Hermione had told her Sirius had been hurt and was in the hospital. Hermione felt horrible to upset her, but she was glad that she was able to tell her he was now on the mend instead of the other outcome she had been dreading.  
  
As they made their way down the hall to Sirius' room, Hermione gripped Elaine's hand tightly. She couldn't help but worry that she would run into Harry again. She did hope for Sirius' sake that Harry would pull his head out of his arse and start treating his godfather better. But she could do nothing more about it.

She knocked on the door and heard Sirius' voice telling her to come in.   
  
She opened the door, guiding Elaine in ahead of her. She was glad to see that Sirius was looking better. He was clearly more alert this morning and though he wasn't sitting, he had another pillow behind him, propping him up more.  
  
He smiled when he saw them. Hermione smiled back, but Elaine clung nervously to Hermione's side, clearly uncomfortable in the new situation.  
  
"How are you feeling?" Hermione asked, ushering Elaine closer to the bed.  
  
"Better today," he responded, voice still gravelly, but he sounded stronger. "Still in pain, but that will linger for awhile according to the healer. Hey El."  
  
Hermione smiled at the nickname. A few weeks ago, the three of them had gotten into a discussion about nicknames and Hermione's hatred of them. But Elaine admitted she had always wanted one, so she and Sirius had decided he would call her El, and she would have her very own special nickname. She had been thrilled.  
  
Elaine seemed to bloom when Sirius spoke to her. She smiled and rushed to his side, grabbing his hand.   
  
Hermione knew that she would have loved to hug him, but Hermione had warned her that Sirius had been injured on his chest, and hugging would hurt him.  
  
"I drew you a card," Elaine said, giving him her handmade get-well card. "And I brought a book. The one with the animal magic. I thought I could read it to you. When I don't feel good, Mummy reads to me and it makes me feel better."  
  
Sirius smiled again at the girl, eyes sparkling, "Thank you so much. I'd love to hear the story."  
  
"I'm ok now Mummy. You can wait in the hallway if you want," Elaine said.  
  
"Can I?!" Hermione laughed. She was surprised Elaine wanted to be alone, but it was touching that the girl cared so much for Sirius that she wanted to have special time with him. "Well I guess I've gotten my marching orders! I'll be right outside when you're ready.  
  
Once in the hall, she walked a little ways down to a bench to sit and wait.   
  
She had been sitting there for about ten minutes when she heard, "Wotcher, 'Mione."  
  
She looked up to see Remus and Tonks walking toward her. She smiled and stood to greet them.  
  
The pink haired witch enclosed her in a tight hug, which she returned. She also received a hug in greeting from Remus and they both joined her on the bench.  
  
"Elaine is in there with him now. She wanted to be alone with him."  
  
Tonks grinned, "I can't tell you how happy we've been that you and Elaine have been spending time with him. It's really done him a world of good."  
  
Hermione smiled softly, thinking about how different Sirius was now from when they first started spending time together. He was warmer, friendlier, and he was quicker to smile.   
  
"He’s been good for us too," she replied after a moment. "Elaine really is crazy about him."   
  
Tonks shared a look with Remus that Hermione couldn't quite read the undertone of. But then Remus said, "How is he this morning?"  
  
They chatted for a while about Sirius' condition, then she heard the door open from Sirius room. Elaine walked up to the group grinning, "Hello," she said to Remus and Tonks.  
  
"Hello there! You must be Elaine!" Tonks exclaimed, "It great to meet you! I'm Tonks, and this is Remus. We're old friends of your mum's."  
  
"It's nice to meet you." Elaine said, shaking both their hands. "Sirius is getting sleepy, but he said he wants to talk to you before we leave," she said to Hermione.   
  
"Why don't you sit here with us while your mum talks to Sirius?" Tonks said, winking at Hermione.   
  
Elaine took Hermione's place on the bench as she walked back into Sirius' room.  
  
He did look sleepy Hermione noticed, his eyes were hooded, but he was watching her with an intensity that Hermione wasn't used to from him. Wondering what was causing it, she made her way to the chair and sat down.  
  
"Did you enjoy your story?" She asked.

He chuckled, "Of course. It means a lot to me that she wanted to help me feel better.”

"I think she'd do anything for you," Hermione replied, smiling.  
  
Sirius nodded, "I--I would do anything for her too."  
  
Hermione was brought up short by the sincerity in his voice. He was still staring at her intently.  
  
"They're releasing me tomorrow. Said I'm no longer in danger and just need lots of rest to recover. But because of the pain I'm still in, they don't want me going home alone. So, I'm going to stay with Moony and Tonks for awhile. I was wondering if you and Elaine could come there for dinner tomorrow night. Tonks said it would be nice to catch up and celebrate me being alive."  
  
His voice sounded casual, but he seemed almost nervous. His cheeks were tinged red and Hermione didn't think it had anything to do with his injury.   
  
"Sounds nice. I'll chat with Tonks on my way out for the details. She and Remus are in the hall with Elaine."  
  
Hermione said goodbye to him, wondering all the while why he had seemed so nervous.

* * *

Sirius watched Hermione close the door, still smiling over the girl's orders that her mother leave the room. He then turned to look back at Elaine. "Did you want to read that book now?" He asked her.  
  
She sat down on the chair next to the bed and shook her head, "In a few minutes. I wanted to talk to you first, without Mummy here to listen."  
  
Sirius couldn't help but think back in a similar statement Hermione had made some time back about Elaine. What could she have to say to him that she didn't want Hermione to hear?  
  
"Mummy has been really sad this week. I even heard her crying when I went to the bathroom a few nights ago. I didn't know why, but this morning she told me you had been hurt. Now I know why," she said.  
  
Sirius kept silent, mind spinning. Hermione must have really been worried if she had cried herself to sleep over him.   
  
Elaine continued, "I don't want her to be sad. Are you going to get hurt again? Because if you do, she'll cry."  
  
Sirius sighed, "Come here, El." She scrambled up to sit next to him on the bed. He took her hand. "You knew my job was dangerous. Sometimes people get hurt doing it. But, I'm not going to be doing that job anymore, so you don't have to worry."  
  
"You're not? What are you going to do instead?" She asked.  
  
"I don't know. But I do know that I don't want your mum, or you, to be sad because of me. So, I'm going to make some changes to make sure that doesn't happen again."  
  
Elaine looked thoughtful "Are you going to ask Mummy to marry you?"  
  
Sirius was stunned. Where the hell had that come from? "Why would you ask that Elaine?"  
  
She shrugged, "I just think that would make her happy. I would be happy too. We could be a family."  
  
Sirius closed his eyes. Why had he never considered what Elaine may think about his and Hermione's relationship? He couldn't fault the girl for thinking that way, they spent so much time together.  
  
He opened his eyes and looked at her again, "I know you aren't going to understand this, but your mum and I are just friends. And being friends doesn't mean we're going to get married."  
  
"But you love each other. You should get married."  
  
"Love each other?!" Sirius exclaimed. Where was this girl coming up with this stuff?  
  
Elaine nodded, "You do, don't you? You want to make each other happy and feel better. And  _I_  love you Sirius."  
  
Sirius' heart constricted. She had never said that to him before. "I... I love you too, El," he said after a moment's hesitation. He did, he realized. He hadn't thought of it before.  
  
"Then you must love Mummy too," Elaine concluded.  
  
"It's not that simple," Sirius said, growing more flustered with the girl's insistence.  
  
"Well, I think it should be. Do you want me to read to you now?" Sirius nodded eagerly, relief flooding him that she was apparently done with the conversation.  
  
He tried to listen as she read, but his mind was elsewhere. Did Hermione know how Elaine felt? That she wanted them to get married? And did he love Hermione? He had never thought about it like that before. 

They had become friends, close friends, but love? He didn't know. But he had changed. Changed because of her, and even for her; for them. Maybe there was truth to Elaine's words. Maybe he should spend some time figuring it out.


	16. Chapter 16

When Hermione and Elaine arrived at the Lupin's, Sirius was reclining on the couch, napping. Rarely clean-shaven, his time in the hospital had led to the growth of a full beard, and he was in a t-shirt and plaid pj bottoms. Hermione smiled at the bare foot poking out from under the too short throw blanket.  
  
Tonks held her finger to her lips as she led them from the front door past the living room into the kitchen, where Remus stood at the stove.  
  
Hermione let out a mental sigh to see Remus cooking. After Sirius' tales of Tonks' failed gourmet attempts, she had been somewhat dreading the meal this evening.  
  
After saying hello, the women and Elaine sat at the table while Remus cooked. They spent some time catching up and getting to know Elaine. Always the social butterfly, Elaine adapted quickly and was soon talking to the Lupins like she had known them her whole life.   
  
About 15 minutes later, they were surprised to hear Sirius' voice in the kitchen, "When will dinner be ready? I'm starving!"  
  
"Argh! You stubborn man!" Tonks cried jumping up and rushing to him. He was barely standing, leaning heavily on the wall leading in to the kitchen, grimace of pain on his face and hand on his chest. Elaine looked at Hermione nervously, but Tonks soon reached him and pulled his arm around her shoulder. The support seemed to help, and he was soon hobbling toward the empty chair at the table next to Elaine.  
  
Once he was seated, Tonks started ranting at him, "You are supposed to call one of us if you want to get up and walk around! What is the point of staying here for us to help in your recovery if you insist on doing everything yourself?!"  
  
Elaine's eyebrows were practically to her hairline as she goggled at the irate witch. Hermione tried to hide her smile at the thoroughly chastised look on Sirius' face.  
  
"Don't worry, El," Sirius said conspiratorially to the girl, "She’s not as mean as she looks." Tonks harrumphed and sat back down.  
  
"Feeling better today, Sirius?" Hermione asked.  
  
"Yes, thank you," Sirius said, glaring at Tonks, "I feel much better."  
  
Tonks snorted, "Sure he does," she said under her breath.

They were saved from Sirius' response by Remus announcing that dinner was ready.  
  
When they all settled in to eat, discussion flowed fairly easily. Hermione had been nervous about spending so much time with Tonks and Remus. Though she had known them before she had left the wizarding world, she had only spent time with them in group settings, and she wouldn't have called them friends. But she could see that changing. They were important to Sirius, and Sirius was important to her.  
  
They got into the discussion of Sirius leaving the Department of Magical Law enforcement, which was news to Hermione. "The last time we talked about it, you hadn't decided," she said.  
  
"I knew!" Elaine piped it.   
  
Hermione laughed, "Well, don't I feel left out?" She said, smiling at Sirius. He was studying her, then he looked at Elaine.  
  
"I just can't do it anymore," he said after a moment. Hermione nodded, struck by the serious tone in his voice.  
  
Tonks broke the too long silence, "Well, I'm certainly going to miss you around the office. It won't be the same without you there, constantly getting into it with Lyons. You sure know how to get him riled up."  
  
"Our boss," she said to Hermione's confused look, "He can't stand Sirius. Makes sure we all know it too!"  
  
"Lyons is an idiot," Sirius said.   
  
"That's not a nice thing to say, Sirius!" Elaine reprimanded.  
  
"Sorry, El. Lyons is not smart. At all."  
  
"You are the only Auror in the Department that can't get on with him! I feel like that says more about you than him." Tonks added.  
  
Sirius shrugged, obviously not bothered by the implication that he was hard to get along with.   
  
"Sirius said you were an editor?" Remus asked Hermione, obviously attempting to change the subject. "That sounds like a perfect job for you."  
  
"I thought so too," Hermione replied.  
  
"Mummy doesn't like her job," Elaine added.  
  
"I really wish you would stop saying that, Elaine," Hermione said sternly, to which Elaine just shrugged. She is starting to take on Sirius' mannerisms, Hermione suddenly realized. But no time to think on that now.  
  
"I don't dislike my job," Hermione said, "It's just not what I was expecting when I started. It's all very boring, and there really is nothing like reading terrible manuscripts all day, every day to beat the love of reading right out of you. I haven't read a book for pleasure in... years."  
  
"So why do you do it?" Tonks asked.  
  
"I... We had some tough years when Elaine was little. It was hard for me to find and hold a job that paid enough to both live off and pay for child care. This job did both. It's not perfect but it pays the bills," Hermione said.  
  
"You should look for a job in the wizarding world now that you're back. Maybe you could find something more fitting," Tonks suggested.  
  
"Maybe you could get a job in your old department at the ministry. Remus could put in a good word for you," Sirius added.  
  
"You work for the Department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures now?" Hermione asked Remus, surprised.  
  
"Yes, I was hired on about six years ago. There was a bill passed that stated that each group of magical creatures whom the Department regulated should have a representative on staff to ensure their group was treated fairly. I was hired on as the werewolf representative."  
  
"But I... I wrote that bill," Hermione said, shocked.  
  
"I know," Remus smiled kindly at her, "I've been meaning to say thanks for the job."

Hermione couldn't help but laugh. "I wrote it about six months before I left, but it was still on the Wizengamot docket the last I checked. I can't believe it passed! That's so amazing!"  
  
"It took a long time to actually be heard by the Wizengamont, and it faced a lot of resistance, but it passed. Barely. And it was difficult to get everything moving, and for the chosen representatives to gain any actual traction within the Department. But the last few years have been really productive," Remus told her.  
  
"I'm so pleased. I was determined back then to enact some changes. I wanted so badly to make a difference," Hermione said softly, overcome with the knowledge that something she had done had made a difference, and she hadn't even known it.  
  
They finished up dinner, then Elaine lead Tonks and Remus into the living room after promises of seeing picture of Sirius when he was in Hogwarts.   
  
"Are you ok?" Sirius asked her quietly.   
  
She shook herself and tried to smile at him, "I'm fine.  
  
"Hermione," Sirius said, clearly not believing her.  
  
"I... I just... I don't know. When I wrote that bill, I was so passionate about it; about so many things really. Then everything changed so much. I don't have that anymore."  
  
"You don't have what anymore?" He asked  
  
Hermione sighed and rubbed her eyes, "Passion. Drive. The desire to make a difference. I guess I hadn't realized before how... boring my life has become."  
  
Sirius was studying her intently again, "Do you regret it?"  
  
Hermione thought for a moment before answering, "I don't regret Elaine, which means I can't regret leaving. Because if I hadn't, I wouldn't have her. But there are things I've done that were probably not the right choice. Things that are easy to see in hindsight, but I was blind to at the time."  
  
Sirius leaned forward and grabbed her hand that was resting on the table fidgeting with the napkin ring, "You did the best you could with what you were given. And Elaine... Elaine is perfect. You've done wonderfully."  
  
Hermione was embarrassed to get all teary eyed at Sirius' heartfelt words. She nodded, giving him a watery smile, "Thank you, Sirius."   
  
"I've been wanting to ask. About Elaine's father..." he trailed off, seemingly waiting to see how Hermione would react.  
  
But she just shrugged. "There's not much to tell. He wasn't interested in being a father, and I was perfectly fine with that. I'll... I'll tell you the story sometime. But not tonight. Not with Elaine in the next room."  
  
Just then, Remus walked back into the kitchen saying, "Elaine wants you to see these pictures, Hermione. Here, I'll help you Pads."   
  
He helped Sirius to his feet and ushered him into the living room, leaving Hermione to trail behind, trying to put her insecurities behind her, for the time being at least.

* * *

It had been a few days since Hermione and Elaine's visit, and Sirius was feeling much better. He no longer felt like sleeping all day. His chest still hurt like hell, but the pain was no longer radiating throughout his whole body. Instead it concentrated along the vicious looking diagonal scar that now ran along his front, from above his left peck near his collar bone and cutting down jaggedly across his chest and ending on the right side of his abdomen, about six inches from his belly button.   
  
It hurt to wear a shirt, so thankfully his baby cousin wasn't very prudish when it came to wearing clothes around the house. But the pain had receded enough that he could walk almost normally without help and he was off the pain potion, which he was thankful for. He could see how it could be addictive for people with chronic pain, and he had no desire to travel down that path.  
  
He had gone to a follow up appointment with his healer that morning and was told he was cleared for normal activity, as long as he could bear the pain. There was nothing physically wrong with him, the residual magic of the curse was all that was causing him problems, and that would fade naturally over time.  
  
He was spending one more night with the Lupin's, then going back home to his flat the next day. Harry had asked to meet him for drinks at the Cauldron in the evening if he was feeling up to it, which Sirius was grateful for. Harry seemed to be trying to make good on his promise to make more of an effort.  
  
He had been half asleep in his bed in the guest room when his sensitive ears, hearing heightened by his time spent as a dog, heard his name being said through the walls.   
  
Remus and Tonks' bedroom was on the other side of the bathroom from the room he was in, but he could clearly hear the words being spoken, even if the voices were muffled.  
  
"Do you think there's anything there other than friendship?" He heard Tonks ask once he had concentrated on the words.  
  
"I don't know. They're close, far closer than I initially thought they'd become. I think he might feel something, but I don't know Hermione well enough to know about her," Remus' voice responded.  
  
Sirius shook his head and sighed. He wasn't surprised at the direction of their conversation. Tonks had been making little comments since Sunday, trying to get information out of him. To get him to admit to something. He had actually had quite a bit of fun playing dumb and frustrating her.  
  
"I think she does, but she doesn't realize it yet. He  _definitely_ does, though he won't admit it yet. At least not to me," Tonks continued.  
  
"Dora," Remus said warningly, "Don't get involved. Whatever is going on between them, let them figure it out."  
  
"I just think they'd be perfect together. Hermione and Elaine have been so good for him. I'm not going to get involved!"  
  
"Really? That's why you're talking so loud when you know he'll be able to hear you?"   
  
Sirius chuckled to himself at Remus' words.   
  
"Was I doing that?" Tonks asked innocently. "I hadn't realized."  
  
"You made your point!" Sirius called loudly, making Tonks laugh.  
  
"Good, I'm glad!" She called back.  
  
Sirius lay there for awhile, thinking. After the conversation with Elaine at the hospital, he had been considering whether he felt anything for Hermione other than friendship. He hadn't come to any conclusions, but he had decided that it may be worth exploring.   
  
He wouldn't say anything to Hermione of course. He didn't want to scare her, and regardless of how he may feel, there was no guarantee of Hermione's feelings.  
  
He looked at the clock. It was after 10 pm, but he knew Hermione would still be up. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and made his way to the living room. 

* * *

"Hello?" Her voice answered after two rings.  
  
He smiled at the somewhat aggressive tone to her voice, obviously she was perturbed someone was calling so late from an unknown number.  
  
"Hey," he replied simply, hoping she would recognize his voice.   
  
"Sirius?! What are you doing?!" She exclaimed, shock clearly evident in her tone.  
  
"Ringing you, obviously. Sorry if it's too late."  
  
"No, it's fine. I just didn't want the phone to wake Elaine. What is it? Is everything ok?" She asked, suddenly concerned.  
  
"Everything is fine. I'm just at the Lupin's one more night and I thought I'd call on their phone while I still had the chance."  
  
"Oh. I didn't realize you knew how to use a phone," she paused, "Why did you want to call me?"  
  
"Umm, well, I, uhh..." Sirius fumbled, suddenly feeling awkward. "It's just that the healer cleared me today for regular activity, and I was hoping to make plans for this Saturday morning."  
  
"Ok. What did you have in mind?" Hermione asked slowly after a few moments of silence.  
  
"Well, Christmas is only two weeks away, and I haven't done any shopping yet. I thought maybe we could go looking for Elaine. I'm sure Tonks would be happy to watch her for awhile while we go out. I--I want to get her something special. Something she'll love. And I was hoping you'd help me."  
  
The silence stretched longer this time, and Sirius started to fidget. Then he heard Hermione exhale softly, "That sounds good. I could do with a little shopping myself."

"Good. Meet you here at 10?"  
  
"Ok, see you then. Goodnight."  
  
"Goodnight Hermione." As Sirius hung up the phone, he suddenly wondered if Hermione had thought he was asking her out on a date. This would be the first time they went out together without Elaine. Is that why she had hesitated? But if she did think it might be a date, she had still said yes.  
  
Maybe this was a date? He would have to play that by ear.


	17. Chapter 17

As Hermione walked down Diagon Alley with Sirius, she kept glancing sidelong at him. He wasn't acting any differently than normal, but she was confused by what was going on.  
  
Maybe she was reading too much into his request to go out alone with her. Perhaps he really did only want help picking out a present for Elaine, but the way he had fumbled around with asking her had made her suspicious of his motives.  
  
He was looking much better, and other than wincing every once in a while, he seemed to be well recovered, which she was relieved to see.   
  
They had already stopped in a few stores and had picked out a few small presents. Now they were on the way to muggle London to look for something special.   
  
Hermione had decided to take Sirius to Harrods, which she knew he would absolutely hate, but Elaine loved the place and Hermione knew that they would be able to find something she would love there.  
  
After a half hour in the store, they found themselves in the jewelry section. Hermione thought a bracelet would make a good special present to Elaine from Sirius.  

Sirius had wandered off down the display case as Hermione looked. She was fiddling with a silver charm bracelet, considering it, when it slipped through her fingers and fell to the floor. Embarrassed by her clumsiness, she went to pick it up, but before she had a chance, someone else had beat her to it.

The man straightened up, holding the bracelet out to her with a smile. He was very good looking. He looked to be around her age with sandy blond hair and dimples, which he clearly used to his advantage.

"Here you go," he said as she took the bracelet.  
  
"Thank you. That was very clumsy of me," Hermione couldn't help but smile at this man.  
  
"Not at all," He winked at her and nodded to the bracelet, "It's very pretty. Is it a present for someone special?"  
  
"Yes, she's quite special," Hermione answered.  
  
He sidled up closer to her, seemingly to study the bracelet, "Well, I'm sure she'll love it, whoever she is. But it isn't nearly as pretty as the woman picking it out."  
  
Hermione resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the terrible pick-up line. Suddenly, she felt someone brush up against her back, and the man who had been speaking to her raised his eyes over her head and then they widened.  
  
"Find anything?" Sirius asked.   
  
She looked over her shoulder at him. "Yes, I think so," she replied. She looked back just in time to see the blond man quickly scuttling away.   
  
She turned to face Sirius fully. It's was really no wonder the man had beat a hasty retreat. Sirius definitely had a dangerous vibe to him. Worn, black leather jacket, gray v-neck t-shirt, tattoos clearly visible above his collar, messy dark hair falling around his shoulders, and a full beard from more than two weeks of not shaving. He didn't look like a man you would want to mess with and he had clearly staked his claim on Hermione in front of that blond man.  
  
But why? They had just been talking, though the man had been flirting rather terribly. Had Sirius been jealous?   
  
"What was that about?" she asked him.  
  
"What do you mean?" He responded, raising his eyebrow.  
  
Hermione narrowed her eyes, "Why did you just chase that man off?"  
  
"I did nothing of the sort. If that arsehole ran away, it wasn't my fault." Sirius said, unconcerned.   
  
"Hmm..." Hermione studied him for signs of jealousy, but he looked completely cool and collected. Perhaps she was reading too much into this as well.   
  
This man was so confusing!

* * *

Sirius sat down across from Hermione at a muggle cafe down the road from the department store. He was pleased with the gift he had bought for Elaine, and he also managed to buy one for Hermione when she was looking at something else. He hoped they both like them.  
  
He had managed to sidestep Hermione earlier when she had been suspicious of his motives with that arse who had been hitting on her. He knew she had thought him jealous, though she hadn't said it, the way she had eyed him told him so.   
  
And he had been jealous. Not that he thought she would have fallen for the guy's crappy pick-up line, but that the guy was flirting with her at all, when he never had. But he didn't want her to know that.  
  
Now that he thought about it, he supposed that reaction told him what he was wanting to figure out about how he felt about Hermione. He did feel something more than friendship for Hermione, otherwise, why would he have gotten jealous? But it was all too confusing to understand right now.  
  
He was pulled out of his thoughts by Hermione's voice, "The other day you asked me about Elaine's father. I thought now would be a good time to tell you, since she isn't here."  
  
Sirius nodded for her to continue. Hermione hesitated, then began, "After everything that happened with Ron and Harry, I knew I wanted to get far away from here. I found a job in America, in the Magical Congress. It was fun and exciting, living in New York City, and being on my own, allowing myself to move on with my life.  
  
I started to... fool around with a guy from work. Nothing serious, just uncomplicated fun. He wasn't interested in anything more, and neither was I after Ron. It lasted about four months before we drifted apart.  
  
A few weeks after things ended, I figured out I was pregnant. I was completely shocked. I had been very careful with my contraceptive charm, and I never expected to get pregnant. But at the same time, I was thrilled. And terrified.  
  
I felt it only right to tell the father, but he wasn't interested in being involved. Which I was fine with. He wasn't exactly father material.   
  
But I had no interest in raising my child in a city like New York. If I was going to do it alone, I wanted to do it in London. Home.  
  
I... I thought about returning to the wizarding world. But, I just couldn't. I couldn't face everything, and I also knew that wizards, especially purebloods, are not exactly accepting, and I just couldn't allow my child to be raised in that environment. A muggleborn, and a bastard to boot? No, I wanted something better.  
  
My parents were gone, and I didn't have any other family, but I decided the muggle world would be more accepting. So, that's where I settled."  
  
She stopped, evidently done with the tale. She sat back in her chair, and watch him for a reaction, "And Elaine? What does she know about her father?" He asked.  
  
Hermione shrugged, "Not much. She knows he's American and that he leads a very different life than us. She's never asked any questions. I always figured that would change as she got older. I guess we'll see."  
  
"I'm assuming her coloring comes from him? Her eyes are... startling," he remarked, and Hermione nodded.   
  
Sirius continued, "Well, I'll say it again. You've done wonderfully. I wish that you didn't have to feel so alone and that you didn't have such a rough time at the start. But you're not alone anymore.”  
  
"No, I'm not alone," she said softly, then started chewing on her bottom lip, a nervous habit he hadn't seen her do since she was a teenager. "Sirius... Was this a date?"  
  
His eyes widen, surprised by the question. Though he had thought she may see it that way, to hear her ask it, threw him.  
  
He was embarrassed to feel his cheeks heat in a blush, which flustered him more. Hermione just stared at him, waiting for an answer.  
  
Finally, he cleared his throat and awkwardly started, "I, umm, I suppose it was. But only if you want it to be," he finished in a rush.  
  
There. He had admitted that he felt something more than friendship for her without some grand declaration, but he had left her an out if she didn't feel the same way. Now he felt his chest tighten as the silence stretched on.  
  
But then she smiled at him, a smile that lit up her whole face. And she nodded.


	18. Chapter 18

Hermione spent the next week wondering over her relationship with Sirius. She had been surprised to find herself happy to consider their outing a date. She hadn't realized that her feelings for Sirius had progressed past friendship until that moment.  
  
It had been so long since she had even considered a romantic relationship with someone, she was feeling quite wrong footed. And she wasn't sure if her knowledge that it had been even longer for Sirius made her feel better or worse. Better because she was not alone, or worse because it was so foreign to them both, it would be so easy to screw it up.   
  
But it was too late. They had crossed a line, even in just admitting their outing had been a date. There was no turning back for them, even though what might happen next worried her. And screwing things up and losing Sirius terrified her.  
  
Before they had gone back to the Lupin's to pick up Elaine, they had decided they would proceed as they had been. They would meet up on Saturday and spend the day as a trio, and just see where things went.   
  
They wouldn't tell Elaine either. Sirius had told her what Elaine had said to him at the hospital, and neither one of them wanted to get her hopes up, just in case.  
  
When Saturday morning rolled around, Hermione couldn't help the butterflies that took up residency in her stomach. She had never felt that way before when going to spend time with Sirius, and if she hadn't realized it before, she definitely would know by this reaction that her feeling had deepened.   
  
They met at Sirius' flat to floo to Hogsmeade. The village would be beautiful this time of year, and they decided it would be fun to take Elaine to see it.  
  
Hermione was somewhat annoyed to see that Sirius seemed completely unaffected by the change in their relationship. When he opened the door, he greeted them as he always had, and displayed none of the awkward discomfort Hermione was feeling.  
  
They had spent the morning shopping and walking through the village, but when they entered the Three Broomsticks for lunch, the booming, "`Ermione!" had left her cringing. She turned around to be greeted by the rib cracking bear hug of Hagrid. Once she was set down on her feet again, he moved to the side, where she caught sight of what was clearly many of the Hogwarts staff out for their own Christmas luncheon.   
  
She greeted those teachers she knew and was introduced to some she didn't recognize. She was then wrapped in a warm hug from her former head of house and the current headmistress, Professor McGonagall.   
  
Hermione was surprised to see that while her old professor smiled kindly at her, she kept turning a glaring eye at Sirius, who was ignoring her rather thoroughly. After introducing Elaine and turning down an offer to join the group, the trio found a secluded booth in the far corner of the tavern.  
  
Hermione feigned hurt when Elaine chose to sit with Sirius on his side of the booth, but once everyone was settled, Hermione questioningly accused, "What was that about?"

* * *

Sirius tried to put on a look of innocence, "What was what about?"

  
"With McGonagall. If looks could kill, you'd be a writhing puddle of goo on the floor. What did you do?" Hermione asked.  
  
Sirius shrugged, "She sent me some of your personal info when I was looking for you. She would only let it go if I promised to keep her informed of my progress. Apparently, she's been worried about you too. I may have... forgotten... to tell her I found you."  
  
Hermione pursed her lips, but to Sirius' surprise, she didn't pursue the topic. She was likely glad she hadn't had to deal with a Hogwarts reunion earlier  
  
They ordered lunch and enjoyed the food together, with the Christmas lights twinkling around the dim room, and falling snow visible through the front window.  
  
Suddenly Sirius remembered the letter in his pocket. He reached into robes and slid it across the table to Hermione. "From Tonks," he said at her questioning look, "She asked me to give it to you today."  
  
He watched Hermione open the short note, and she smiled. "What's it say?" He asked.  
  
"She's inviting Elaine and I to spend Christmas at their cottage. She says you'll be there?"  
  
Sirius nodded, "Yes, I spend every Christmas there. I was going to ask you what your plans were, but I guess she beat me to it."  
  
"We usually spend Christmas at home, just the two of us," Elaine piped in, "Can we go to see the Lupins, Mummy?"  
  
Sirius watched Hermione for her reaction. Maybe she wanted to keep Christmas special for the two of them?  
  
"I think it may be nice to have some more company on Christmas. If it's alright with you?" She looked to Sirius.  
  
He grinned at her, "It's fine with me, but you might change your mind when you find out it's one of Tonks' favorite holidays to test out recipes in the kitchen."

“I think we can brave it,” Hermione joked, and Elaine nodded.

“Yes, we can brave it together,” Sirius said, winking at her. He was gratified to see her cheeks flush, and he smirked. It was nice to know that he hadn’t completely lost his charm, even after all these years. He just hadn’t had a chance to utilize it lately.

“Maybe you can sneak in some snacks in your purse, Mummy. Like when we go to the cinema!” Elaine suggested helpfully.

Sirius laughed and then said to Hermione, “You have a smart one on your hands here. Going to save us all from Christmas starvation.”

Hermione's laughter warmed his heart and made him want to reach for her hand that was sitting on the table, but he didn't want to do so in front if Elaine. Maybe someday soon.


	19. Chapter 19

Hermione couldn't remember the last time she had been this happy. Her life with Elaine had been special, and though she loved her daughter more than anything, Hermione had been very lonely for a long time.   
  
But the experience of sitting around the Christmas tree, laughing with Tonks over a story she was telling, while Sirius and Remus stood by the fireplace, talking over their drinks, and Elaine giggling on the floor by the tree, Teddy acting out a funny scene with the new stuffed dog he had picked out for her--this was happiness. This Hermione could get used to.  
  
She caught Sirius' eye, and smiled at him when he winked at her. She fingered the necklace that now hung around her neck, a delicate rose gold chain with an oval pendant, moon and stars etched on it. It was beautiful, but the fact that Sirius had picked it out for her made her love it even more.   
  
Elaine had been thrilled with her present from Sirius as well, as Hermione had known she would be. When she had opened the box, she had gasped at the pretty charm bracelet, and she had promptly jumped up and thrown her arms around Sirius' neck.   
  
Gone were the days where he was made uncomfortable by Elaine's embrace, and he immediately hugged her back. Elaine then crawled into his lap, leaning back against his chest, to sit for the rest of the opening of presents, which she had never done before. Hermione could tell Sirius was pleased by the smile that lifted the corners of his lips.  
  
Elaine had made ornaments for them all, which everyone ooh and aahed over appropriately. Though she had opened several presents, she had fallen in love with the stuffed dog from Teddy, who said he had picked it out to remind her of his "Uncle Padfoot."  
  
After lunch, they had settled in to enjoy the rest of the afternoon while relaxing around the tree. Though she hadn't spent much time with Remus and Tonks yet, she could see them becoming good friends, especially Tonks. They were warm, kind, and accepting of her without reservations.  
  
Teddy seemed to really take to Elaine, and the feeling appeared to be mutual. He told her tales of Hogwarts, which she loved hearing from an actual student, and her natural, outgoing nature charmed him. He showed her all his metamorphic tricks, which had her squealing with laughter, and nothing warmed Hermione's heart more.  
  
She finally felt like she belonged. And while there was always a niggling fear in the back of her mind that she could lose it all again, when she looked at Sirius, her fears seemed to slip away.

* * *

In the late afternoon, Elaine fell asleep on the couch, and the Lupins decided to take a walk to enjoy the falling snow, though Hermione couldn't help but wonder if it was a ruse to give her and Sirius privacy. She didn't know what Sirius had told them about their relationship, but she wouldn't be surprised if they knew something was different between the two.  
  
Hermione had decided to tidy up the kitchen a bit to help out now that Tonks wasn't there to stop her. When she walked back to the living room, she stopped in the doorway, looking over the scene. Elaine was curled up on the couch, haphazardly covered with a throw. Sirius sat in the armchair next to the crackling fire, tree lights twinkling behind him, flipping through a book Remus had received.   
  
When Elaine had asked her weeks ago if they could spend Christmas with Sirius and be like a real family, the suggestion had unnerved her. But even though not much time had passed, so much has changed. She could easily envision a future with this man, and this scene made her want to find out what kind of family they could become together.  
  
Lost in her thoughts, she hadn't noticed Sirius get up and moved toward her. She startled when he touched her arm.  
  
"You alright?" He asked, concern in his voice.  
  
Hermione nodded, smiling softly, "Better than alright. Today was... perfect."  
  
He smiled back, "I agree. I'm glad you came. Christmas here is always nice, but it's even better with my girls here."  
  
Hermione's eyes widen. Had he really just called Elaine and her 'his girls'? Even in the dim light of the doorway, she could see his cheeks redden. He obviously hadn't meant to say that out loud.  
  
Deciding to let him off the hook for the remark, she glanced up and pointed. She grinned when his eyes flicked up, and he grimaced.  
  
"It's tradition," she said, giggling softly at his groan.  
  
"I wasn't really planning to have our first kiss dictated to me by a weed," he said.  
  
"I think it'd be quite romantic," Hermione countered.  
  
"I disagree. Maybe we should skip tradition--"   
  
Hermione cut him off, "Sirius, shut up and kiss me."  
  
He smirked at her, "As you wish."  
  
Unconsciously, her eyes slid closed as he moved closer to her.  
  
His lips touched hers gently. He quickly brushed them across hers, but when she felt him start to pull away, she decided she wasn't going to let him get away with that measly peck as their first kiss.  
  
She wound her arms around his neck and pulled him down to her, crashing her lips against his. His body stiffened, and at first Hermione thought he wasn't going to kiss her back. Then she felt his arms wrap around her lower back and he pulled her flush against him.  
  
She drank him in greedily. His lips were firm against hers, and when she felt his tongue flick against her closed mouth, she gladly met him in kind.

* * *

Sirius felt his cheeks redden at his slip. Though he often called Hermione and Elaine 'his girls' in his mind, he hadn't meant to say it out loud.  
  
Hermione didn't comment though, instead she had demanded that he kiss her. At first, he thought to just tease her. To comply with her demands in the simplest way possible. But then she had wound her arms around his neck and pressed her lips to his. In that moment, he had lost all sense.   
  
Her lips were insistent on his, and after a moment, instinct kicked in and he wrapped his arms around her.  
  
He felt like he was drowning. He couldn't think of anything else but the feel of her lips on his, and the way it felt to have her body pressed up against him.  
  
When he deepened the kiss, her tongue met his eagerly, and he felt giddy. He ran his hand up her back to tangle in the hair behind her head, holding her even tighter to him.   
  
She responded by leaning back slightly so her back met the doorjamb. He took the hint and stepped forward, pressing into her body even more, trying to get as close as possible.  
  
He had forgotten everything else around them. Nothing existed but Hermione. That is until a small voice penetrated his foggy brain.  
  
"Mummy?"  
  
Hermione ripped her lips away, panting heavily. Sirius tried to stifle a groan at the sudden loss of contact. He turned to look over at the couch, where Elaine sat on her knees, hair mussed from sleep, eyes wide and staring at them.  
  
"Elaine! You're awake!" Bringing her hands to his chest, she gently pushed him so that he stepped back from her. She quickly hurried over to the couch, as he leaned against the doorway, trying to catch his breath and gain his bearings again.  
  
"You were kissing Sirius," Elaine said as Hermione sat down next to her.  
  
"Well, yes, we were caught under the mistletoe. It's tradition to kiss under the mistletoe," Hermione hedged, trying to appease the girl without giving away too much information.   
  
"Does this mean you're in love? Are you going to get married?" Elaine asked excitedly.  
  
"Oh, well..." Hermione trailed off, looking to Sirius for help.  
  
He took a deep breath before pushing off the wall and walking over to sit on the other side of Elaine, "It means that I'd like to spend more time with your mum and you. Do you think we could do that?"  
  
"Oh yes!" Elaine exclaimed, grinning at them both, clearly pleased with the news.

Hermione met his eyes, and she looked almost like she was close to tears. He reached around behind Elaine and wrapped his arm around Hermione's shoulder, pulling her closer, Elaine between them. He grabbed the throw blanket with his free hand and tossed it across all their laps, then picked up one of the books Elaine had gotten for Christmas and asked if she wanted to read it.  
  
As Elaine started to read out loud, Hermione helping her over the difficult bits. Sirius looked down at them both. When Hermione looked up at him and smiled, eyes twinkling, he could honestly say he had never felt happier.


	20. Chapter 20

Hermione was looking forward to the new year. It was a new experience for her to get excited over the prospect of a new beginning. A fresh start with Sirius by her side.   
  
She and Elaine spent New Year's Eve with Sirius at his flat, and it felt good to be able to interact with him more freely now that Elaine knew.  
  
Nothing was overt or over the top. A touch on the arm here, a hand on the back there. But it was enough to get Hermione's heart pounding.  
  
Elaine was desperate to make it to midnight, and she did, though barely. When the clock struck twelve, she threw her arms around both their necks and cried "Happy New Year," giving both Hermione and Sirius a kiss on the cheek.  
  
Hermione laughed while Sirius pecked Elaine's cheek, but sobered when his eyes turned to hers. She knew he probably wouldn't kiss her on the lips with Elaine so close, and sure enough, he reached for her cheek. His lips lingering there, making Hermione breathless. She hadn't kissed him since Christmas a week ago, and just that touch of his lips to her skin sent her reeling.  
  
Sirius insisted that they stay the night, sharing the double bed he had set-up in his spare bedroom. Hermione tried to decline, feeling like, as innocent as it was, it was too soon for any kind of sleepover.   
  
But Sirius just rolled his eyes and said it would be silly for them to go all the way back to their flat at such a late hour when he had a perfectly good bed they could use.  
  
Hermione had finally agreed, and they settled in for the night after she transfigured their clothes into PJs.   
  
About an hour later, Hermione woke suddenly. She lay there for a few minutes, trying to decide what had woken her. Then she heard a noise coming from the living room. Knowing Sirius must be up, she checked to make sure Elaine was sound asleep, then she slipped out of bed into the hall.   
  
When she reached the living room, she saw Sirius standing by the window looking out into the Alley, a mug in his hand. She smiled at the sight and made her way toward him.   
  
Though she knew he would have heard her as soon as she had gotten up, he didn't acknowledge her presence at first. She stopped next to him and looked out the window. Snow had started falling and was just beginning to cover the ground. It was really quite beautiful.  
  
"I want to do this right," Sirius said suddenly, voice low.   
  
Hermione startled, then looked over to him. "What do you mean?" She asked voice barely above a whisper.  
  
He looked at her then, though she could just barely see him in the dim light coming in from the window. She could feel his eyes on her.  
  
"My life has been nothing but one major screw up after another. I feel like I've failed at everything I've set out to do. When I came back, I was determined to not make the same mistakes. So instead, I just stopped living. I can't screw up if I don't try to do anything, can I? But I still made a mess of things."  
  
"Sirius--" Hermione started, but he stopped her by holding up his hand.  
  
"Please don't, Hermione. I don't need you to try and make me feel better. I know the truth, and no amount of platitudes is going to change that."  
  
He paused, but Hermione stayed silent. After a few moments, he continued, "But this... this I can't screw up. I--I can't lose you. I can't lose her. I want to do this right. Get this right with you." Surprisingly, he choked off.   
  
Hermione's heart ached for him. She reached out and took both his hands in hers, squeezing them. "I understand. I'm scared of screwing this up too. I'm terrified of losing you. But we'll figure it out together. It may be messy, and we may not get it right all the time, but... but I'm ready to try. And if you feel the same, then we'll make it through."  
  
Sirius nodded slowly, then moved closer. He pulled one of his hands away to push the curls back from the side of her face and cup her cheek. Then he lowered his lips to hers.   
  
Rather than the hard, insistent kiss they had shared previously, this one was slow and sweet. His lips were gentle and caressing. He wrapped his other hand around her back, drawing her closer as she clung to him, grasping the sides of his shirt.  
  
They spent the next few minutes tasting, testing, and enjoying the sensations they were eliciting. When they finally broke apart, Sirius wrapped his other arm around her and tucked her head under his chin in an embrace.   
  
Hermione sighed and wrapped her arms tightly around him. She could hear his heart beat where she rested her head on his chest. She was beginning to think this all might work out.

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Sirius and Hermione spent as much time as possible together. Between Elaine's school and Hermione's job, Sirius usually ended up at their flat several evenings during the week, and they kept their usual Saturday outings.  
  
Though Sirius had been out of work for over a month, he hadn't started to look for something else. Financially, he didn't have to work, but he was beginning to feel antsy. Other than the occasional painful twinge in his chest, he was fully recovered from his injury, though the jagged scar across his front remained.

He and Harry had made a weekly thing of drinks at the Leaky Cauldron on Friday evenings after Harry's kids were in bed. Although they were taking steps to repair their relationship, things were far from perfect and still got awkward between them.  
  
The two big elephants in the room were Ginny and Hermione. Though Harry didn't say it, Sirius knew Ginny would not be supportive of them spending so much time together. And while Sirius had told Harry about the change in his relationship with Hermione, the topic was studiously avoided by both men.  
  
"Have you thought any more about what you'd like to do for work?" Harry asked him one Friday night. They were tucked away in a secluded corner booth, away from the prying eyes that tended to follow Harry everywhere, even after all these years.  
  
Sirius shrugged, "Thought about it, sure. But come up with anything? Not exactly. The best I can do is that I don't want to work for the Ministry. But what does that leave me? Not a whole lot of options."  
  
"Hmm..." Harry said thinking. "Yeah, that pretty much rules out at least half the jobs in the wizarding world. How about something muggle?"  
  
At Sirius' withering stare, Harry held up his hands in surrender, "Ok, ok, that was a dumb idea. Shopkeeper? Eh, that wouldn't be good fit. Barkeep? That wouldn't be too terrible."  
  
Sirius snorted, "That would be a horrible idea."  
  
"I don't know about that. I think you'd do well."  
  
Sirius stared at him, "All those mopey drunks, crying to me? Sounds like a real picnic."  
  
Harry laughed, "Yeah, maybe. But I think you'd be pretty awesome at it. You're an expert about alcohol, if nothing else," he jabbed, lightly punching Sirius on the arm.  
  
Sirius smiled, shaking his head. This is what he had been missing with Harry these past five years. This easy banter and joking around. Friendship.  
  
Then Harry continued, "You should talk to Hermione about it." Sirius' eyes snapped up to his. "I mean... Well, you're together now, right? Her opinion about this kind of stuff matters. Maybe she can help you figure things out."  
  
Sirius nodded, then Harry quickly changed the subject, obviously uncomfortable having brought up one of their taboo topics.


	21. Chapter 21

Hermione laughed as she watched Sirius try to bend his legs in to fit in the small sled behind Elaine. He ended up folding them awkwardly in front of her before pushing off down the hill. Elaine squealed with delight. When they both stopped in a heap about ten feet in front of Hermione, and Sirius fell backwards into the snow as Elaine jumped up, crying to do it again.  
  
"Why don't you do a few rounds by yourself, hon?" Hermione called, "I think Sirius might need a break.”  
  
Sirius rolled off the sled and Elaine grabbed it, making her way up the hill again. Sirius stood, brushing the snow off his pants, and walked over to Hermione.  
  
When he wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to him, she giggled, and kissed him lightly on the lips, then they turned to watch Elaine.   
  
It was late February, and they were enjoying another day in Hogsmeade. They had just had a big snow fall, and the weather was perfect for sledding, so Elaine had asked to go. Sirius had conjured a sled, much to Elaine's delight, and had proceeded to join her in several runs down the hill, much to Hermione's surprise.  
  
The past couple months with Sirius had been amazing. They had gotten off to a bit of a rocky start when their relationship was transitioning from friendship to romance. Sirius had been somewhat uncomfortable showing physical affection, but he had loosened up quite a bit in the last month or so after he had figured out she wasn't going to rebuff his advances.   
  
And she had to try really hard to quell her misgivings and fear over their relationship and over losing him. She found that when she could manage to bury those thoughts, she had a lot of hope for the future.  
  
She laughed again as Elaine made her way down the hill, much slower than before without Sirius' push off and weight to help the sled gain speed. "Once more! Then we'll go for lunch!" Hermione said. Elaine nodded and ran up the hill again.   
  
While they watched her, Sirius said, "After lunch, I thought you two could do some shopping while I stop in at the Hogshead to talk to Aberforth."   
  
Hermione looked over at him, "I thought you decided barkeeping wasn't your thing?" When he had brought up the subject last month, he hadn't seemed keen on the idea.  
  
Sirius shrugged, "I have to do something. And I can't think of anything else. It wouldn't hurt to talk with him, would it?"  
  
"No..." Hermione trailed off as Elaine ran up to them. After Sirius banished the sled, he took Hermione's hand on one side and Elaine's hand on the other and lead them to the Three Broomsticks.

* * *

Halfway through lunch, Sirius stiffened in his seat. He had just glanced over and watched his godson and his three children walk through the door, all bundled up against the cold. He glanced at Hermione, who couldn't see anything as her back was to the door.   
  
He watched as Harry caught sight of him. Harry smiled, but then hesitated, obviously seeing Elaine sitting next to him, and Hermione's head over the back of the booth. But it was too late.  Harry's youngest, Lily, not quite three, saw him too, and cried, "Unca Siri!" And ran toward him.  
  
His relationship with Lily had always been closer than it had been with James and Albus. He had been around her whole life and she seemed to take a shine to him like the boys never had. And though they hadn't spent much time together because of Ginny's interference, little Lily was always happy to see him.

He leaned down to scoop the red-headed girl in his arms. She giggled and kissed his scruffy cheek. Sirius looked at Hermione, who was staring at him in shock. Then Harry appeared with the two older, black haired boys in tow. James, at almost eight, looked rather painfully like his namesake, having inherited his eye coloring from his fraternal grandfather. Six-year-old Albus had more Weasley coloring, though his hair was Potter black.  
  
Harry was rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. "Sirius, Hermione! It's, err, it's nice to see you both."  
  
"Oh!" Hermione exclaimed, looking at each of the boys and Lily in Sirius' arms, suddenly hiding her face in his neck, shy with the strangers she hadn't noticed before, "It's good to see you too," she said, sounding sincere, much to Sirius' surprise.  
  
"Hello," Elaine predictably piped in.  
  
Harry smiled at the girl, and Sirius made introductions.   
  
"Are you here for lunch? You should sit with us." Elaine said, obviously excited to spend time with other children.  
  
"Well, err..." Harry said, looking at Hermione.  
  
"Yes, you should!" Hermione said. She looked into Sirius' eyes then, clearly looking for his approval. He smiled, and gave a slight nod. He was thrilled by her overture of peace.  
  
"We can make room," Hermione said, sliding out of the booth to join Sirius and Elaine on the other side.  
  
"If you're sure?" Harry asked, taking Lily from Sirius."  
  
"I'm sure, Harry," Hermione said reassuringly.  
  
He studied her for a moment before nodding. As they all settled into the booth, Sirius said, "Albus, Elaine is six too. That means you'll be in the same class at Hogwarts."  
  
Albus, always a bit on the shy side, widened his eyes, looking at the girl, "Really?"  
  
"Oh, that would be so cool!" Elaine exclaimed. Then she started chattering away at the bewildered boy.  
  
Sirius, glad to see his attempt at ice breaking was successful, turned to Harry, inquiring as to Ginny's whereabouts. Harry shot him a look that clearly said he was aware of Sirius' real motive in asking--making sure she wasn't going to show up and catch them all together.  
  
"She's out shopping in London with Molly. It's just me and kids today, so we thought a trip to Hogsmeade sounded fun."  
  
The lunch went surprisingly well. Harry and Sirius kept everyone entertained with stories of their days as partners with the Aurors. And all three Potter children really seemed to enjoy talking with Elaine, who of course considered them all immediate friends.   
  
Hermione did not join in the conversation much, but neither did she discourage it. She laughed in all the right places, and even asked Harry some questions here and there about things that had happened since she had been gone. Harry, for his part, just seemed immensely relieved that she was even talking to him, and he couldn't seem to help the smile that was perpetually plastered on his face.  
  
When everyone was bundling up to head back outside and go their separate ways, Albus tugged on his dad's sleeve and asked, "Can I ask Elaine to play sometime?"  
  
Harry's wide eyes shot up to Hermione's, but she just nodded. Harry, in turn, nodded down to Albus. When Albus stepped over to the girl to ask his question, Sirius couldn't help the grin that formed on his face. He put his arm around her shoulder, pulling her close, heedless of Harry's curious eyes on them. He kissed her temple, then whispered in her ear a soft, "Thank you."  
  
She smiled up at him, eyes sparkling. He knew she had done this for him. And he loved her for it, and for so much more. Perhaps it was time to tell her.


	22. Chapter 22

Hermione and Elaine had enjoyed their afternoon shopping together. When Sirius had joined them again after his meeting at the Hogshead, he smiled and said, “I have a new job.”

“And do you think you will enjoy this new job?” she questioned.

He shrugged, “I don’t see why not. There will be no paperwork. I made Aberforth promise me that.” 

Hermione laughed, and then took his hand, “Well, I’m happy for you. And, I, umm, I may have a new job soon too.”

He looked at her, surprised, “I didn’t know you were looking.”

“Well, I’m not really looking. But, I’ve talked with Remus, and he thinks there may be a possibility of me getting a position back in my old Department. He wasn’t sure though, but he owled me this morning to let me know that he’s secured me an interview. He seemed pretty confident I’ll get the position. I was going to tell you at lunch, but then Harry showed up.”

“Well, I’m happy about it if it’s what you want,” Sirius said, and Hermione nodded.

“I think it is. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m not just… stuck. You’ve been a big part of that,” she said, bumping her shoulder against his.

He smiled and wrapped his arm around her. Hermione nestled in against him, watching Elaine jump in the snow ahead of them. 

* * *

That night found them snuggled on the couch in Hermione's flat. Elaine had been in bed about an hour, and they were watching one of her favorite old movies on TV. It had been surprising to her to find that Sirius had a fondness for muggle movies. So, they could often be found watching them, either with or without Elaine.

Hermione was fiddling with the scar on Sirius' chest. Though she had never seen it, it had become a bit of an unconscious tick of hers. The raised scar was easy to feel under the fabric of Sirius' thin sweater, and it was almost a comfort to her. A reminder that she had almost lost him, but that his injury had also changed everything for them.  
  
Sirius had never acknowledged her habit, but suddenly his hand reached up to still her fingers. She raised herself up on her elbow, looking at him. His eyes were dark, watching her from under hooded lids. "Was I hurting you?" She asked, concerned.  
  
He shook his head, taking his hand away from hers and burying it in her curls, which were falling forward over her shoulder.  
  
"I love you," he said, voice low and rough.   
  
Hermione's heart stopped. She studied his face for a moment, before whispering, "I love you too."  
  
His lips quirked into a smile, and she leaned down to kiss him.  
  
As the minutes stretched on, Hermione let out a low moan as his fingers brushed up against her side, sliding her shirt up.  
  
"I should go now," Sirius said against her lips.  
  
She pulled back. The desire was clear in his eyes, but he wanted it to be her choice. She smiled softly, cupping his cheek with her hand. "Stay," she whispered.  
  
He responded by pulling her back down to him.

* * *

Sirius awoke, Hermione splayed across his chest, curls tickling his nose. He smiled, feeling more content than he could ever remember feeling.  
  
He glanced at the muggle alarm clock Hermione kept on the bedside table. Just past 6 o'clock. According to Hermione, they had just about an hour before Elaine woke up.   
  
He felt Hermione begin to stir, then stretch, humming in contentment. Her fingers found his scar again, and he smiled. Though he hadn't told her, he enjoyed the habit that she seemed to unconsciously do. It was a reminder to him that he could have lost her, but that things were so much better than he could have ever imagined.   
  
She rolled onto her back, turning her head to face him. He turned onto his side, head propped up on his arm. He looked down at her, eyes still sleepy, soft smile on her face as she reached out to run her hand through his hair. He caught it with his free hand, kissing her fingers. Then he leaned down, kissing her lips.  
  
When he pulled back, he asked softly, "What do we do now?"  
  
Hermione smiled, "Now? Now we lay here in each other's arms until Elaine gets up. Then we'll lounge the morning away, eating pancakes for breakfast and watching cartoons until our brains turn to mush."  
  
Sirius couldn't help the happy feeling rising up in his chest, "Are you sure?"  
  
"I've never been more sure of anything. I want to be a family with you, Sirius."  
  
He closed his eyes to hide the tears that were suddenly threatening. He felt Hermione's lips brush against his eyelids, then find his lips. She kissed him slowly, and he reveled in the feeling of this woman.  
  
His entire life had been rearranged by her. And now he could look to a future with her, putting the past behind him. And he couldn't wait to really start living. 


	23. Epilogue

"Mum!" Hermione groaned, rubbing her forehead. She looked at the clock. They had to leave in fifteen minutes or they would be late.  
  
"What is it?" She called.  
  
"I can't find my other shoe!" All of a sudden, she heard an odd clunking sound coming down the hallway. Then her oldest son appeared around the corner, hair a mess, dress shirt half unbuttoned, and one shoe on.  
  
"Reggie! You were supposed to already be dressed!" Hermione cried, swooping in and fixing his shirt.  
  
"I am dressed! I just can't find my other shoe!"  
  
At nine years old, Regulus had black, wavy hair that he wore long, like his father. He had Hermione's brown eyes and freckles across his nose and cheeks. But his mischievous streak and disorganization he definitely inherited from his father.  
  
"Have you checked the basket by the back door?" Hermione asked as she attempted to smooth his hair; definitely a losing battle.  
  
Reggie shook his head then ran off to check where she had indicated.  
  
"Thomas! Are you ready to go?! Your father will be home any minute and we have to be ready!"   
  
"Just a minute!" She heard the muffled response. She heard a thump, then footsteps running down the stairs. Her youngest son appeared, short brown curls neat, completely dressed and ready to go. Now this child was all hers. Six years old, and already far more organized than his brother. His gray eyes sparkled as she smiled at him.   
  
Just then Reggie appeared, lost shoe in hand. Hermione heard the front door open, then Sirius' voice call out, asking if everyone was ready. She looked at her boys, smile on her face, as she ushered them to the door.

* * *

Sirius was about ready to growl. Even after all these years, he still hated crowds, and the press of people around him combined with the summer heat was doing a number on him.   
  
But then he felt Hermione's hand on his arm, and he looked down into her smiling face, and he felt himself relax. She took his hand and pulled him behind her to the seats she and the boys had found near the front of the audience.   
  
His sons were both sitting at the edge of their seats, looking around the Quidditch pitch. Though he had taken them both to a few professional matches, this was Hogwarts' pitch, and he knew both of them aspired to join their house team when they attended Hogwarts in the future. They looked completely awed.  
  
He caught sight of Harry across the lawn, and nodded to the other man. He smiled and waved in return. Ginny turned and looked, then turned her nose up at him and pulled Harry down into their seats.  
  
She had never warmed to him, and even though he was close with Harry, and their children were all good friends, she still avoided interacting with him as much as possible. And she avoided Hermione like the plague. Not that Hermione was complaining.  
  
They only had to sit for a few minutes before the ceremony started. It was long and boring, but everything was worth it when he saw his girl.  
  
When Minerva had called, "Elaine Black," he saw her walk up the stairs in her graduation gown, blue and bronze tie, a huge grin on her face. She shook hands and crossed to the other side of the stage. Then she paused, searching the crowd. Finding them, she gave a little wave before bounding down the stairs and back to her seat.  
  
She had grown into a stunning young woman. Her blond curls were much longer now, and her blue eyes usually sparkled with mirth. She had never lost her outgoing personality, and she had easily made friends across all the houses.   
  
As soon as the ceremony was over, she made her way through the crowd to them. She threw her arms around Hermione first, laughing at her mother's teary eyes. She hugged her younger brothers next, one arm around each of them. When she turned to him, he couldn't help but try to swallow back the lump in his throat.

"Oh, Dad! You're as bad as Mum!" She laughed and hugged him tightly around the neck. He hugged her back, hiding his tears in her curls.  
  
"I can't believe it! A Hogwarts graduate! You've done wonderfully Elaine. We're so proud of you!" Hermione said, hands on Reggie's shoulders.  
  
Elaine preened at the praise, then excused herself for a few minutes when a large group of friends congregated nearby. When she came back, she was holding the hand of a boy, green and silver tie sparkling brightly in the sunlight.  
  
Sirius suddenly felt like he'd been slapped. He looked to Hermione, who was looking just as surprised. When he looked back at the boy, he finally registered what he was seeing. "Albus?!"  
  
"Hello," Albus said awkwardly, obviously beyond nervous.  
  
"Well congratulations on graduating Albus!" Hermione said, hugging the boy.   
  
"Thanks," he muttered.  
  
"Mum, Dad, I was hoping we could invite Al over for dinner sometime this week?" Elaine asked.  
  
Hermione nodded beside him, "Well, of course, we'd love to have him over! Right, Sirius?"  
  
When the silence stretched on too long, Hermione elbowed him in the side, hard enough to make him grunt. His eyes met Elaine's, and he saw the hope there. She wanted his approval. "Sure, El, we'd love that," he ground out, voice rough.  
  
Her face lit up, and she bounced forward giving them both kisses on the cheeks before dragging Albus back off to their friends. Sirius let out a whoosh of air, turning to his wife. "Did you know about that?!" He demanded.  
  
"No! But I'm not very surprised. She's always talking about him." Hermione shrugged.  
  
"Our little girl! Dating the Slytherin son of my godson! My  _daughter_ , with my best mate's  _grandson_! That sounds... wrong. I can't even wrap my head around it!"   
  
"Oh, Sirius, don't think about it like that! Albus is a lovely boy."  
  
"I know that! But can you imagine if they end up together? Elaine will have Ginny Potter as a mother-in-law! We'll be related!"  
  
Hermione's look of horror told him she hadn't thought of that. He couldn't help but laugh at her expression. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her forehead, "Just one more thing to face, yeah?"  
  
Hermione cringed, then smiled up at him, "As long as we face it together."  
  
He nodded, "Always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it! Sorry it took me so long to finish posting this. Real life got hectic and posting these chapters took a backseat. I hope you enjoyed!


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